20 Things You'd Like To Say At Work

1. I can see your point but I still think you are full of shit.

2. I'm out of my mind at the moment, but please feel free to leave a message.

3. Ahhhh! I see the screw-up fairy" has visited us again.

4. Sorry, I was just visualizing you with duct tape over your mouth.

5. What do I look like, fly paper for freaks?

6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

7. How do I set this laser printer to stun?

8. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

9. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

10. I kinda' like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

11. I only have two speeds, and if you think this is slow, you don’t want to see my other one.

12. If I throw a stick will you leave?

13. Whatever look you were going for, you missed.

14. I see you set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.

15. Thank you for refreshing and challenging me with your unique point of view.

16. Is that just donut frosting in the corners of your mouth, or did you meet with the boss this morning?

17. Oh, I get it. Like humor, only different.

18. How about never? Is never good for you?

19. I will always cherish my initial misconceptions about you.

20. Nice perfume, but did you marinate in it?

Please feel free to add your favorites to the list!!