I am not qualified to be offering advice on how to be an understanding spouse, but what I have learned I share in hope that it helps or is found applicable for most situations or circumstances. Of course there are many ways where we can become or work towards becoming understanding spouses. Here are just 3 simple action steps as a start:

 #1 – Marriage Vows. This is a big one and in fact the most important one. Without it, I would say all is lost. The marriage vows is the one that binds everything together. It is the promise you will not intent to break, made before God and witnesses, under whatever circumstances, to love and to hold, till death separates. On every wedding anniversary, it is best to read out the vows to one another. I feel that it is important that my spouse and I need to hear it so that it gets sink in and the vows being lived out. Try it.

#2 – Communication. Just as I mentioned the need to hear the marriage vows being read to one another heartily, the words make a difference to the relationship. Words really make a really deep impact as they can hurt as well as they can bring about healing. I wonder how the comedian Robin Williams can make others laugh with words. In our busy environment, it is extremely hard to communicate. So we need to make time to sit down and talk, stand up and discuss, catch up and settle issues, calm down and resolve conflicts, slow down
and rekindle the love. Take time to talk.

#3 – Doing Things Together. This is what it is supposed to be in a marriage relationship, living life together, and it is not each person doing one’s own things. Being together would require doing things together. The benefits of this step are numerous. You will discover more of each other. I learn more of my spouse as we do things together, such as keeping the house tidy or taking care of the laundry. Through this, each learns to accommodate to each other and grows together to love and to hold under whatever situation. Turn off the TV/iPod and go for a walk together.

Surely you can further improve on the steps above but for now they serve as a reminder to me as well as to my spouse, what it takes to be understanding as spouses and not complaining spouses, building up and not tearing down. Take action.