I’ve been thinking...

I know I've said it before, but DAMN those fan suggestions are stupid. How can you be a fan of summer? Most of them are so ridiculous. A fan club for Harrison Ford is one thing, but for shoes? Are you a fan of shoes? What the fuck does that even mean?

I heard another alien sighting/probing story on the television last night. I swear, I will drive down to wherever, deep south, U.S.A, and murder in the first degree the next person I hear tell an alien anal probing story.

Let's face some facts: First, if aliens exist, and it's pretty damn possible, our chances of ever seeing them are miniscule. Second, how would they know we have anuses, and if so, how would they know what to find up there? Third, am I to believe that thousands of light-years away, some intelligent race designed and manufactured a device solely for the purpose of shoving up people's asses? How would they know what specs to make the device to? Why do they only pick stupid hicks? FUCK, people are stupid.

The really sad part is how many other people are gullible enough to buy into these stories.

There is a process that you can apply to any situation, and it goes something like this:

1. Is it possible?
2. What is gained from lying about it, if it is false? (Are they getting their name in the paper?)
3. Would I do that if I was that person? (E.g. Would I probe a hick in the poop-shoot?)
4. Do you have any firsthand knowledge, evidence, or have any trusted accounts of these events?
5. Is there an alternative that is much more likely? (E.g. Maybe It was people making crop-circles.)

If you apply a simple chain of logic to most phenomenon the mystery usually stops there, but logic is apparently a rare commodity.

My goal here wasn't to argue against extra-terrestrial existence. I personally believe that a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away there probably were aliens runnin' around. Ha-ha. But they sure as fuck ain't probing your asses in the middle of the night.

-Gerald A. Dinkel (He just says things.)

http://sardonicconnection.blogspot.com/2009/04/73-alien-probes.html