A Lot of Answers, Not Much Time
A Lot of Answers, Not Much Time
Like you, I have many demands on my time. It’s all the same everyday stuff that you go through, too - washing my gorilla’s hair, finding willing victims for the Nasty Thing in the cellar, splitting an atom or two, and of course making all those time consuming banking arrangements for that seemingly endless supply of people in other countries who need so much help getting their funds out of those countries. Oh, and rigging elections, of course – doesn’t take so long, but you really have to keep at it EVERY DAY, you know.
?So with all this going on, I’m afraid that I sometimes just don’t have time to respond to all of the comments left on my Xomblurbs, Xombytes and Xombcoms. That’s why I’m taking care of that right here by posting a few very late, very tardy, very overdue responses. (I won’t bother posting the comments I’m responding to, as time is as always of the essence – I have to attend my son’s second summer camp pageant, my daughter’s ballet recital and the lethal injection of one of my most annoying relatives.)
1. Thanks so much for the very kind advice, but if I stick my comments there, you will need a flashlight to read them. And frankly, I think I would find walking a bit challenging.
2. No, all the way through fifth grade actually. And in only 12 years!
3. Oh, just the usual kind of pervert. Why do you ask? (And what are you wearing? If you’re into rubber, we should talk.)
4. Usually I wrap mine in gauze, just like you do an egg.
5. No, my mother did have children who lived actually. Ummm….you didn’t happen to know her did you? Say, about 32 years ago?
6. That’s easy: A horse, a Republican and a magnum of domestic champagne.
7. Are you coming on to me?
8. Would you like to come on to me?
9. Would it KILL you to come on to me?
10. You’re not my type anyway.
11. If I said I didn’t mean that last one, would you come on to me?
12. Dear BLAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!,
So glad to see you’re willing to step up and defend your wife’s honor. Of course, I was just joking. Didn’t mean it at all. BTW, that address I included in my private email to your wife was a phony. And the picture wasn’t of me. And I’ve never met the (rather fetching) goat in the picture. Gotta go – I’m due at a mission in Farthest Razgebbistan and won’t be back for 8 years.
13. I’m thinking celibacy isn’t such a bad option.
14. Yes, my Mom did marry her cousin. How the heck did you guess that??!!!
15. Forty-two arrests – but only two convictions!
16. Funny – that’s almost word-for-word the exact same thing my guidance counselor said the day before they found his body in the Louisiana bayou (and three days before they found his head in the Mississippi delta).
Gotta go now. Feel free to comment on this post – but remember, I may not get right back to you. (Unless you mention that you’re into rubber.)
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Latex fetish
Irving, NY craigslist often has listings for people who are into latex (or look good in latex, or both)... you might want to check it out.
Craigslist doesn't want me
Craigslist doesn't want me anymore...
Something about "inappropriate behavior," "stalking," "lawyers," and "see you in hell, buddy"...
I forget the exact details.
But thanks for the suggestion! Please comment again - especially with interesting pictures...
Lovin' it.
16. If I could do that I would not be writing on Xomba and would probably never leave the house.
I had to read number 8 twice. For a second there I thought you were my dream girl. Upon reread, alas it was not meant to be.
Would it be coming on to you if I said you had a beautiful eye. Hmmmmmmmm?
Maybe you'd like to meet my
Maybe you'd like to meet my sister?
She's a lot like me, except for...you know...different in that...very...special way.
Don't make me spell it out for you.
Oh, alright, her mustache is bushier. There!
(And don't worry, wHATUP - I'm sure she can help capitalize that reluctant "w" in no time.)
YES!
Bushy mustache! Tell her to write me.
Got another sister?
Or a cousin? One with your sense of humor, but without the husband and kids. And without the busy mustache of the other sister.
I can deal with latex, natural fibers, whatever. I'm flexible (but not necessarily in an S&M sense).
Write?
She prefers smoke signals. Is that a problem?
Define "sister"
I definitely have another what I might in a stretch call sister. She's a real doll!
If you're interested, I'll inflate her for you.
Just let me know.
Sister? Human...
or at least humanoid. I have to have *some* standards, you know.
Ah, standards!
Ah, standards! The death of so many potential relationships....(well, for me, at least.)
I'll put the pump away...
Actually
What a romantic! Who would have a problem with that? Unless the smoke comes from places unseemily - even then I might be ok.
D'oh...
You know, the whole time I was replying to you I kept thinking it was Mia. Your avatars are very similar...
Maybe it's just me
Maybe it's just me, but I have yet to encounter a place unseemly - smoky or otherwise.
I'll tell her to get the bonfire started and send you a message. Do you prefer it in Arapaho or Quapaw? (The smoke signals, that is.)
Leave my avatar out of this
And I thought you were a gentleman!!!
(Yea, I know -I gotta change mine, cause Mia's had hers a lot longer - which is in no way a reflection on her age, mind you!)
Arapaho
Arapaho of course! I mean what kinda nation do you think were living in? We only send smoke signals in Arapaho buddy so get use to it, learn it, love it.
Oh, and trust me, I saw this video once....I mean a buddy told me he once saw a video with smoke coming out of something very unseemly. I didn't know if your sister could throw out those kinda signals.
Ok, I'm only jumping in here because my eye came up
What a fantastic xombyte and the comments are hysterical too. You three should go on the road and tour...a Last Xombie Standing kinda thing. Irving, you should keep the eye, I love when people mix us up, it makes things interesting! :) +1 and a huge snort laugh to all of you!
Peace,
Mia NW
Please visit my recent posts here
Get paid to be a xombie! Join us here
Avatar confusion
I always find Whatup's avatar disorienting, because they're usually young women, and he's really a 100-year-old male.
P.S. My avatar is 100% correct; I really am a mid-August sunset on the coast of Maine (retrofitted with fingers for typing).
Mia, I thought I told you to
Mia, I thought I told you to lay low...after all, we don't want them finding out that we're really two parts of one person with a multiple personality disorder, do we?
...Wait - did I post that? It must the callalilies. Yes, they always make me do strange things this time of year. The callalilies..the calla....
Gotta go. Meds are calling.
For the right guy, she can
For the right guy, she can throw out anything.
(By "right guy," BTW, I mean "the guy that is willing to part with the most do-re-mi and give it to her loving and fine, upstanding, average, modest, healthy, normal big brother." Just in case there's any confusion.
Ha! irvingl2001
I'm allergic to callalilies! I can't keep up with you guys and your acerbic wit! It's too funny. I was thinking about a xombyte featuring you, idlewild and wHATUP but I don't think I can do you justice. You three should collaborate on a sitcom or something....:)
Peace,
Mia NW
Please visit my recent posts here
Get paid to be a xombie! Join us here
What the hell are...
they?
Visit Kiwi Riverman
Visit Qassia Today
By "they" do you mean
By "they" do you mean callalilies? Or are you asking, "What the hell are they, these curious creatures that are carrying on this...um...interesting little exchange?
If the former - flowers. If the latter - you're better off not knowing!!!
I don't even want to TELL
I don't even want to TELL you what happened the last time I tried to retrofit a mid-August sunset on the coast of Maine with fingers.
Of course, YOURS are for TYPING....maybe that explains it. Had I known that, I might have saved myself a night in jail.
Although then I might never have met my third wife....
Typing sunsets
Well, it ain't easy. I have to go back every summer for an adjustment.
But this all goes back before the age of typing, when in The Odyssey the rosy fingers of dawn are mentioned quite often.
Ah Yes, "The Odyssey"
I remember when Homer was writing that little piece of folderol. I kept telling him, "Homer, are you kidding me - Odysseus? Menelaus? Charybdis? These are names to set a heart aflutter? And what if someone wants to make a musical of it? Hello - how can they rhyme those names? You think "Oh silly Menealus/That hen'll lay us/ an egg, you grumpy fool?" has the makings of a Top 40 smash?"
But did he listen to me? NOOOOOO. And that's why he's making a million bucks a year and I'm stuck in Arkansas peeling shrimp for a living.
True story.
Thoroughly
enjoyed that. Comments and all. What wonderful wit. What great come backs. What? wHATUP is not a girl?
WHATUP is not "A" girl
He is all girls. And all boys. He is the personification of all that we hold dear in America.
(Maybe NOW he'll pay me the 50 bucks he owes me.)
And
the $500 he owes me. For perpetrating his fantasy.
What???!!!!
He's paying you 10 times what he pays me? Just because you have a better name? And a way cool avatar? And are way prettier? And are a woman? And, judging by your name, could drink me under the table? And because he's probably not YOUR parole officer? And because he probably doesn't have certain photos (and negatives)? And because he didn't catch you breaking into his house to steal said photos and negatives - while wearing a pink bunny suit?
Okay, come to think of it, that sounds like a fair deal after all. Ignore me.
What?
You're not a woman? Of course I could drink you under the table and the chair and all things sofa.