a poem from my DEAREST - Rissa

Love has escaped me.
i hear my Lovers pLea and i feeL the same as he does..
if we were together a time b`fore? then why in this Life yOO deny us Love..
scorn`d to the point where i know im not fit`d to Love another,he is my one and onLy..
agony incases within me with no hope,this so caLL`d ecstasy i name phony..
i feeL more pain than this so caLL`d perfect`d pictures bLiss..
onLy time my bLess`ns are made reaL is when my name Leaves my Lovers Lipps..

instead yOO have me deny him and forsake his name when i deem`d that a sin..
the onLy one who couLd heaL any hurt i feeL and my broken heart? mend..
in my first Life,did i wrong yOO God? that i am now pay`n for past mistakes made?..
how couLd yOO show me a Life fuLL of coLor just to puLL me back into a darken shade..
i cry with my whoLe body and sOuL when i think of how much i Love this man..
our Loves depths? an abyss of unknown that onLy he and i understand..

if Love is what brings yOO cLoser to God and heavens gate..
then why cant i be destined to be with him,why cant he be my bLissfuL twist of fate?
i need him..
" find another ",if it were onLy that easy,id have that done by tonight..
but how can i find another? when im Love`n this poLynesian King with aLL my might..
ive shown sympathy to those in need,gave when others didnt have and obey`d my parents..
and i know yOO see that God but when it comes to my Love for him,it b`comes transparent..
a ghostLy shadow that`s be`n ignored and neither one of us know why..
thee onLy thing that`s certain is that when i think of him,my heart shedds tears and cry..

i need him to b`aLriigh and to make it through the next second within a 24 hour day..
i might say outLoud that iLL be ok without him but inside is where iLL be begg`n him to stay..
never Let him hear me,Let me go mute whiLe he waLks away,and iLL die in siLence..
b`cause i grow weary and tired of hoLd`n back but im not gonna sit and fight it..

iLL wish him and her aLL the happiness,though i feeL sick to my stomache..
but i put him b`fore me in every way,my weLL being? i pLace him way above it..
Love has escaped me and i know soon i wiLL have to Let him go..
Love has cursed me,Like my Love said,in Love? iLL never be whoLe.