One of the greatest Americans who ever lived is Gore Vidal. Now for an under statement: If you haven’t read any of Gore Vidal’s books – at least the historical novels – you’ve wasted your time on planet Earth!

In Gore Vidal’s Creation, a tour de force of history and a brilliantly enjoyable read, he throws in one of his nuggets of information:

The scene is set in India circa 500BC. Punishments for female and male adulterers become relevant to the plot or sub plot. We are told that a woman discovered in the act of adultery will be punished by strangulation until death. The man discovered in the same act is to have a radish inserted where the sun don’t shine – into his rectum. How bizarre is that?

The Purpose of this Article

The REAL purpose of this article is to discover why this should be deemed an appropriate punishment and NOT to encourage adult men to carry out a personal form of experimental archaeology. That said, if you or any other adult human male* you know have done this exact experiment in the past PLEASE COMMENT!

Don’t for a moment think I’ve never called for volunteers before. I did ask a few male friends to carry out what has been described but they all declined to do so. I’ve asked them since and they still reply, words to the effect, “NO WAY!” To actually find out would be interesting. Perhaps I’m the victim of a Gore Vidal spoof – confirmation of that (one way or the other) would be appreciated.

PLEASE NOTE: Disclaimer DO NOT insert anything into any orifice unless you know what you are doing.

To Recapitulate and Conclude

If anyone reading this can explain why shoving a radish where the sun don’t shine could have been a punishment – please comment below or PM me.

NB: I’m aware that there are differences between the human female and male anus. Females don not have prostate glands – this I think could have something to do with it – that is another reason why nobody should actually carry out the experiment. There’s really no need for anyone to draw diagrams – not unless they’re pertinent to the question – why?