Ever since I was a teenager with my own television, I had a curiosity about advertising demographics--you know, the particular audience to whom advertisers target their commercials for a particular show. For example, during daytime television, especially soap operas, advertisers know that many homemakers--who are mostly women--are going to be watching, so they put commercials for women's vitamins, hygiene products, and cooking conveniences on during those shows. Likewise, children's shows and cartoons feature commercials for cereal and toys. And, during football games, you often see beer commercials and "macho" truck commercials.

With the advent of the Internet, the medium may have changed, but the idea continues, if more off-target due to SPAM. I hate spam. No, hate is too kind a word. I would like to write a program that backtraces all the spam I get--especially that disingenuous spoofed e-mail that makes your computer think it came from your own computer--then, once the offending server is identified, the program would cause the server to fry itself crispy. Judging by my spam filter, I could single-handedly stop worldwide spam in about three days.

But, I digress. Let's apply my observations of television commercials to what I commonly find in my spam folder. Let's pretend the spam that is found there is actually directed to me and people like me.

Today, I am purported to have confidence issues with the size of my manhood, be depressed and moody, have trouble sleeping, have cashflow problems, have trouble finding companionship of the opposite gender, and have bad skin. Holy Cow! They just described my teenage experience in high school. Jeez, maybe spam really is accurate, just about 25 years too late.

Spooky.