Season 6 has begun with a bang…and a crash and a boom! During the two hour season premier tonight on Fox, Idolaters everywhere got to laugh and even cry over the auditions held at the Target Center in Minneapolis Minnesota.

Over 10,000 hopefuls showed up at the Target Center in Minneapolis MN to audition

According to Simon Cowell, the brutal Brittish judge whose stinging commentaries flay the toughest of skins, Minneapolis sadly lacked the talent he hoped to find. In the end, only sixteen hopefuls were chosen to go on through to the Hollywood rounds. Among them was a sixteen year old, petite young lady with a very big voice, Denise Johnson.

Denise wowed the judges with her "larger than life" voice.

Denise explains that she was born a “crack” baby to a drug addicted mother and was raised by her grandparents. Spiritually grounded and down to earth Denise blew the judges away with her audition piece “You’re Gonna Love Me”. She was unanimously voted through to the next round by judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and guest judge, singer/songwriter, Jewel.

Other hopefuls that were voted through included a Latina from Barranquilla, Colombia by the name of Perla. Perla is a feisty cross between Shakira and Charro. Her heavily accented English is her only possible drawback but she more than makes up for it with a decent voice and a whole lotta shimmy shimmy shakes. It didn’t go unnoticed by the viewing public that Simon’s eyes lit up with what could only be described and unadulterated male interest the moment she pranced into the audition.

The Colombian Invasion-Perla's "Hips Don't Lie"

Michelle's Country Sound Charms the Judges

On the flip side, there were plenty of ear-splitting laughingstocks to entertain us with their complete lack of talent. You know, there are two types of non-singers. First are the non-singers who actually know they can’t sing but just want to be on TV making a fool of themselves. Second, the non-singers who are so tone deaf that they are completely unaware they can’t sing and apparently, no one loved them enough to tell them, with brutal and crushing honesty, that they make dogs three counties away howl in pain! These are the ones who curse, cry and moan when they are finally told on national television that they suck!

This Girl's Combination Cowardly Lion/Yetti/Chewbaca Noise Confused the Judges and Left Them Scratching Their Heads

This Cowboy Should Just Hop Back On His Horse And Ride Off Into The Sunset

He Can't Sing (He Cried When Someone Finally Broke The News To Him), Can't Dance (White Boy, Please!). Stick To Juggling!

Apollo Creed Leaves "Rocky" Behind To Give Idol The Old "One-Two" But Is TKO'd In The First Round

The auditions continue in the second half of the four hour season premier tomorrow night on Fox at 8E/7C. I can’t wait! I love it. The good, the bad AND the UGLY! I laugh. I cry. I cover my own face in embarrassment for the hideous ones who don’t have enough shame to cover their own faces…or their mouths! I won’t miss a single one and if you’re a true American Idolater, YOU WON’T EITHER!

Visit www.americanidol.com for re-caps and updates. WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD!

SEE THE MEMPHIS AUDITIONS AT: http://www.xomba.com/american_idol_in_memphis_the_king_has_definitely_left_the_building

REVIEW THE NEW YORK AUDITIONS AND LAUGH YOUR TUCKUS OFF: http://www.xomba.com/american_idol_meets_rocky_horror_in_new_york_city

Michele Gwynn
Copyright © Michele Gwynn All Rights Reserved

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