2
votes

An Aetheist and a Bear

posted October 6, 2006 - 4:59pm
An Aetheist and a Bear

This is actually a joke I'd heard a while back...And In light of all the fun we had discussing the Pope, these last couple of days, with someone who obviously doesn't approve of aetheists (or monkey people), I thought it might lighten everyone up to read a good joke about the subject.

It's called "An Aetheist and a Bear"

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods one day, drinking in the beauty around him. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside a river, he heard a rustling in the bushes.

Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He turned and ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pounding frantically as he pushed his legs to run even faster!! Just then, he tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over, readying to pick himself up, but saw the bear over him now, raising his paw to take a swipe at him.

At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God....!"

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest fell silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a booming voice came out of the sky saying:

"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Yet, would you expect me to help you out of this predicament? So am I now to count you as a believer?!"

The atheist looked directly into the light and said: "You are right. It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now. But perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.

The bear lowered his paw, bowed his head with closed eyes, and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive, and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."

Author: LadyPeninhand
-A +A


Comments

me sorry too

Joe Snare - Sun, 2006-8-10 9:57 am
Lady Peninhand, Just so ya know, I didn't mean to call you a bigot, just to say that it is a bigoted joke in my opinion, and I'm sorry for leading off with the B-word that rightfully and humorously flew right back in my face. But I am quite familiar with the culture that repeats this joke ad nauseum in my inbox, and I still believe that just as all myths are based on some sort of truth, jokes like this are based on fear of the "different" ones, and now I'll shut up for a while, but probably not for long.

Agreed...truce then.. And I

LadyPeninhand - Sun, 2006-8-10 2:44 am
Agreed...truce then.. And I know exactly what your wife means....I suspect she is a pretty smart cookie too...perhaps smarter than you give her credit for.... GL and sweet dreams...

Lady:P

'I sleep naked.'

alright Lady P, i'll try not to frighten you any more

AnthonyB - Sun, 2006-8-10 2:20 am
glad to have you as my new friend. I might have to watch my back too though with a feisty one like you lol. So we'll be like reagen and gorbachev, " Trust but verify " lol. My wife asked me to tell you that it's got nothing to do with luck, whatever that means. And by the way, it is Italian. American Italian. You had me pegged all along huh, hope that does'nt put anymore scare into you lol. You would also have had a clue if you read my defense of Columbus earlier but I don't think you needed to Lady P., your a pretty sharp cookie and I am glad to be friends with you. GL

anthony b

It is neat.

Les Porter - Sun, 2006-8-10 1:55 am
And then I have another place. The idea is defuse flames. UNfortunately I am over worked and underpaid. Struggle like everyone else. I have a lot of work to do and a lot of writing I want to do. later Prosper with ya

Antny, antny, antny

LadyPeninhand - Sun, 2006-8-10 1:55 am
Anthony... I'm so glad that you came back wanting to be my friend...and I am more than willing to call a truce. I, too, am a victim of my own convictions and passions. And I can certainly understand how you got a little bit carried away. I've made the same mistake in my life many timnes. I admnire your spunk too...Italian or Mexican? My father was American Indian, and my mother was Irish...so perhaps that's where I got my spunk? Funny, how our heritage seems to bleed over into our beliefs and our characteristics.... But whichever..... I'm drawn to the fact that you obviously spend so much time on your physical well-being...and that you realize how much that has to do with your mental well-being. That's one of my long-time beliefs too. In fact, iF I were to meet you on the street, being the passionate woman that I am, I would likely be unable to take my eyes off of you....AND your 'stable'!! But I've no doubt that as soon as you opened your mouth, I'd run away!!! RUN AWAY!!! FAR AWAY!!! You are scary Ant'ny!!! Very Scary!! If you want to be my 'friend', and call a truce...I'm game....I'll just have to remember not to turn my back to you... And this is to your wife....Good luck to you sweetie...

Lady:P

'I sleep naked.'

sounds neat les

AnthonyB - Sun, 2006-8-10 12:44 am
hey, you know I was jus playin wit cha. thought you were doin the same with me. It's silly now, truce ? hope so. Good luck les and keep writing because much of your stuff is very intriguing.

anthony b

Yeah. I'm retired. I'd love to swim every day. But there

Les Porter - Sun, 2006-8-10 12:19 am
Bro, sure, It is more than three miles around the place, but I can't run any more, I'm old and decrepit, wearing it all out. But I do what I can or have to. Backhoe work the other day. Then truck loads of gravel and grading, all just help the neighbors out. Yeah, there is my retirement. I had hay to cut, land to water ditches to dig, headgates to fix, a big barn(to repair its roof and paint 30-40 feet in the air.) Old equipment, whatever. Big trucks. little trucks, baby trucks, cars .... That kinda flows don't it? suvs, and ltds, loaders, tractors, post hole augers, welders, torches, grinders cutter tools of many kinds and threaders, toys all wearing out like me. I'd like to scupt in steel or bronze, or braze arty things or plate them shiny electrolytically. Or as I am always doing design and build a tool to help me do a job. then done and either cut it up or store it in case the job comes up again or differently. Then with the living pets and live stock. My wifes. Cattle, sheep, and goats, and llamas, horses, rabbits, birds, our oldest emu died yesterday, must bury her, and I do not know what killed her or how she died. But "just" a bird? though large. Peacocks peafoul, guineas, chickens, ducks, geese and turkeys, dogs and cats. and I probably missed some. I guess I need a hobby. I have a large refelecting telescope and skies you may only dream of and dark dark nights at over 7500 feet. I can see stars, and I know their names, and I know how far they are...but that is part of another verse I scribbled somewhere and true. And I surf and get some exercise. This afternoon with my Congressman, his family and part of mine, and an enjoyable time with my really elderly mother who we help through life as she is unable to drive but lives on her own. 20 miles away. I farm that place too. But this Ive been describing was never my avocation or preretirement job. I 'spose I need to write. Now there could be a hobby. Or a little more living.

Letrs be friends Lady P

AnthonyB - Sat, 2006-7-10 9:59 pm
I will apologise for my behavior which I know disappoints me more than you know when I can't seem to stop from jumping straight into something. No putting my toe in the water first but I assure you I am certainly no control freak and my wife can tell you about that. In fact, i'm really rather liberal in relationship matters and my marriage is stronger for it. Look, I have one weakness and I showed my hand already. I do not take kindly to having my faith questioned in any way. This is simply because I have never questioned any others faith including people who wish to believe in science and such. My only problem with that bunch is they assume the right to talk down on people of faith. Whether it be advanced education or just total belief in their assumptions. I don't know what it is but many of them think people of faith to be uneducated or simpletons and are'nt shy about saying so. Hence, my weakness to set them straight yet only after I or mine are attacked. I can't tell you how many of these discussions i've had over the years and they are always in responce. Then I find they can not take the fact that I can not be converted to science. So maybe I overreacted when I felt the Pope was attacked after other arguments concerning religion / science. Once again Lady P, I'm really not the monster you think I am and I really don't believe you to be as bad either. My apology stands and I hope we can be friends. If not, I hope we can avoid confrontation as it is time consuming and costly. I'm willing to have a fresh start, hope you feel the same. Good luck to you.

anthony b

I thought as much..... Ken,

LadyPeninhand - Sat, 2006-7-10 9:20 pm
I thought as much..... Ken, sorry if I rocked the canoe you might be sharing with AnothonyB. I somehow doubt I made a difference there... I've got you pegged Tony...and I'm long weary of your childish games which, by the way,'smack' of a need for control...born, no doubt, of insecurity. It's a shame you are the way you are...so hot tempered and quick to sling insults, because I happen to agree with some of your comments about our society today. And I agree that it's a sahme. But if you are any indication of the warriors we have to fight this fight...I don't hold out much hope. In the meantime, I'm wasting my time....

Lady:P

'I sleep naked.'

ooooh, sexy double speak there lady peninhand

AnthonyB - Sat, 2006-7-10 8:55 pm
Why would you want to make waves on the calm waters ken and I now wish to sail on. Does that make a lady feel alone swinging in the trees ? If you need something to compare for your " measurement taking " just think Secrateriat. Just try not to get that " HUNG " up thinking to much. Love your spunk though.

anthony b

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