Anger Management

I am not an angry person, so I don’t have much experience with this topic. But two weeks ago, I gained some. What happened was some other people received recognition that I thought I richly deserved.

The rest of this essay will deal with three techniques that I used to deal with the generated anger.

1. The first technique I call “Heart to heart with yourself.” Here is how I tried to apply this:

The adult me spoke in calm even tones to the childish me. “We feel pretty well. We have good shelter and food. In the greater scheme of things, what you are concerned about is unimportant. War, disease, and famine are important. The petty affront that you feel is
beyond frivolous. It does not matter.”

The childish me listened and remained silent for a moment. Then he held his breath, leapt to the floor, and beat his fists. He also shouted, “YES IT DOES!”

I am unhappy to report that technique #1 did not work.

2. Technique 2 is what I am doing now. Writing or speaking, putting your feelings into public space is regarded by some as cathartic. Will this work? I don’t know. I am only doing it now.

3. This third technique is about transcending oneself. It suggests that by focusing on others, rather than yourself, you can attain some better vision. That last sentence was obtuse. Let me try again. By thinking of kind and generous acts that you can visit upon others, you can return to a kinder consideration of yourself.

This is not a perfect technique, but I think it has much in its favor. Try not to do a kind act for someone who can benefit you down the road. Maybe the kind act could even be for a stranger.

Another good thing about this approach is that you can spend a good amount of time considering your action before you put it into effect. Any time spent outside yourself in this kind of situation is precious.

I think that technique 3 is good one.