The AngryDago vs. the Angry Whopper

It was about 11:30 at night when I was sitting in bed watching TV to kind of numb my brain from the worlds cares when I saw it... a Burger King commercial for their latest and greatest invention: The Angry Whopper. It is just like their regular whopper with the addition of bacon, pepper jack cheese, deep fried onions, and jalapeños. Me being the proverbial hot head (no pun intended) I thought to myself, “I’d take one of those down to see what it’s all about.”

Shortly after, I drifted off into a heavenly slumber. The next day I was watching my son while my wife dropped some papers off at the county office when I got the call, “Hey Hun I am on my way home, do you want me to stop and get some lunch?” Aha! Here it was, my opening, “How about Burger King, I saw a commercial for a new burger called The Angry Whopper, it looks interesting.” I suggested. “Ok, sounds good. Be home soon.”

I was overwhelmed with excitement. For those of you who don’t understand this was a challenge. Now I love eating hot and spicy things, I have even concocted my own hot sauce with a blend of peppers including the almighty habanero. I figure that gives me a right to not only test their new invention but to also give somewhat of an expert opinion on it. I knew my wife would be home with lunch shortly so I began preparing. I got together a good handful of napkins and a nice glass of ice milk. I was going to conquer this burger like an MMA fighter obliterating his opponent.

I figured I could ingest the extra 1000 calories without much problem as my body was recuperating from the grueling workout the night before and I needed lots of calories. Upon its arrival I balked a bit at the way it was presented and the price. Of course when does something look like it does on TV anyway? It was pricey in my opinion, about $6 bucks for a meal; I could score a regular whopper for probably half of that or less.

Anyway let’s get on to the burger itself. I was probably done with about half of it when I started thinking to myself “where is all the heat and spice the commercial boasted about?” I started looking around in the bun to see what was going on. I spotted about 4 little jalapeños….this couldn’t be. Are you kidding me, the combination of that with the onions kind of cancelled out any heat this was supposed to bring. I was ready for my nose to run profusely, my brow to sweat buckets; c’mon I didn’t even get a tingle of heat in my mouth! The taste was about as satisfactory as you can imagine Burger King being but to claim this thing as an Angry Whopper is a little far fetched in my opinion.

I would definitely eat this again but only if they were giving them away or a naïve hothead offered to buy me one. Needless to say I score 1 for Burger King’s advertising for making it seem like you need to try one of these burgers but I don’t think it’s worth the cash to satisfy the challenge of eating it. I just hope the 4 jalapeños don’t clash with my digestive system and give me a case of bat mobile ass if you know what I mean. You heard it hear, don’t believe the hype!

-AngryDago-