14
votes

Are Farts Funny?

posted October 29, 2008 - 8:31am
Are Farts Funny?

In these days of political, economic and climatic extremism, fundamental questions go unasked.

Are Farts Funny? What do you think? I think they are and if you don't you should chill out and let rip. Sounds dramatic - it surely can be - read this before you answer, make your mind up or let one go.

Last week, my friend's eldest, a boy of 5, thought it would be extremely funny if, (when his parents were entertaining important guests), he were to walk into the room where the group were enjoying after dinner drinks and small talk, and emit a very loud fart. He did just that and, post-emission, broke down in tears of laughter. His Father was furious and marched the offending child from the room. His Mother asked forgiveness of her guests. The guests looked embarrassed made some diplomatic remarks and the whole affair was rather uncomfortable.

When my friend related this embarrassing incident to me, although I tried not to laugh, I was unable to contain myself. My friend was annoyed but I told her she was a hypocrite and listed several occasions in the past when she herself had laughed at farts. Firstly, I reminded her of the rhyme we were fond of when we were children - a rhyme we were told came from the tomb stone of a man in a small parish church in Worcestershire, England. It went like this:

Where'er you be
Let a Fart Go Free
For "twere the want of a fart
That killed poor me!

 

My friend started to smile but still didn"t see the humour in the incident we discussed. Not perturbed I reminded her of another childhood verse we must have recited a thousand times between us: It went:

Tarzan in the jungle
Got the belly ache
Wants to go to the toilet
Plurp, plurp [fart noise, fart noise]
Too late!

 

It was then that the switch went on and my friend laughed. Having her on the floor I continued reminiscing about fart incidents and anecdotes from our past.

When we were eleven we'd named fart types, just like millions have done in the past are doing now and will in the future. For us farts, loosely fell into two categories “rumblers” and “splips”. The biggest fart, the one we aimed for, was the “dynamite black rumbly”. The smallest fart, the one that we found very disappointing upon producing yet did cause us a different kind of amusement - think giggle as opposed to the guffaws that followed dynamite black rumblies - was from the Splip genus and known as a “light-switch”.

My friend continued to laugh but protested “but that was when we were young”.

“Excuse me?” I said - “what about two months ago?

“What about two months ago?” quizzed my tittering friend

Two months ago my friend had called to relate a tale a friend had told her that day. She'd found it extremely funny and wanted to share it with me. Dave X had remarked to her that he'd thought someone was driving a Harley Davison motorbike through his kitchen yesterday but it turne out to be just the sound of his wife farting.

My friend was still laughing when I returned to the subject of her dog-housed five year old by enquiring “Don't you think you're sending your son mixed messages?” She was cracking up when her son (the farter) entered the room and I did something I hadn't done in front of her for a good twenty years and probably more. I farted!

I laughed, she laughed and her son went into near hysterics. We had some explaining to do to her husband later that evening, but as expected, given a few drinks and convivial company he too laughed and in so doing found farts funny.

Proof positive that Farts are Funny.



Comments

Did this article run out of puff? Are Farts no longer funny?

How can farts be funny and a popular topic one moment and then just dry up the next?

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

Fart Article Downgraded - Boo! Support the Fart Article Plea!

Read my lips - and the article - the most popular article ever published by AndAnotherThing2 on Xomba. We are very proud of once topping the most popular panel for 2 days. Also of allowing so many people to have their say on this most important of matters. Are Farts Funny? Indeed they are but please add your voice to continue this debate...if you've commented already, thank you but please try and squeeze another couple out...

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

Palin's KO Fart

You'll see that most commentators have kept politics out of this fart debate - I suppose it was only time before someone did. It's perhaps surprising that the issue wasn't given some slanderous space in the election debate. That said, your comment would have had greater pungency should it have been attached to Palin. I suspect in this matter - given the junk food so dear to hockey moms - Palin would have boxed above her weight and knocked poor Obama out.

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

Obama has been silent on the great fart debate

Perhaps he's been silent but deadly as well. He has yet to offer his policy position on farting... http://www.xomba.com/farting_where_do_mccain_and_obama_stand_critical_issue

Resurrecting the Great Fart Debate

Has this article about farts - more specifically the important question: are farts funny? - run its course? Is it possible to resurrect the Great Fart Debate?

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

Ya farts are definitely

Ya farts are definitely funny but only when we are in a group of close people. in other public situations its always an embarassment! Thanks

Farts Rising

Thannks, another vote for Are Farts Funny. This is fast becoming our most popular article to date - we're considering putting Wilma Proops on farts full time.

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

Farting: Where do McCain and Obama stand?

I've written a xombyte to address this vital but unaddressed campaign issue... http://www.xomba.com/farting_where_do_mccain_and_obama_stand_critical_issue

The L-o-n-g BIG Fart Debate continues

Congratulations on reporting the first farting grandma. May I point out that the writer of this article is a woman. Xombas, interestingly, took it for granted that the source of any fart debate must be male.

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Post new comment

  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You can use BBCode tags in the text. URLs will automatically be converted to links.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <p> <br> <b> <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <span> <object> <param> <embed> <table> <tr> <td> <div>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.

More information about formatting options

Join Xomba Today

Do you like to write? Would you like to make a little extra money on the side? These people do. Join the Xomba community today.
Become a Member