14
votes

Are Farts Funny?

posted October 29, 2008 - 8:31am
Are Farts Funny?

In these days of political, economic and climatic extremism, fundamental questions go unasked.

Are Farts Funny? What do you think? I think they are and if you don't you should chill out and let rip. Sounds dramatic - it surely can be - read this before you answer, make your mind up or let one go.

Last week, my friend's eldest, a boy of 5, thought it would be extremely funny if, (when his parents were entertaining important guests), he were to walk into the room where the group were enjoying after dinner drinks and small talk, and emit a very loud fart. He did just that and, post-emission, broke down in tears of laughter. His Father was furious and marched the offending child from the room. His Mother asked forgiveness of her guests. The guests looked embarrassed made some diplomatic remarks and the whole affair was rather uncomfortable.

When my friend related this embarrassing incident to me, although I tried not to laugh, I was unable to contain myself. My friend was annoyed but I told her she was a hypocrite and listed several occasions in the past when she herself had laughed at farts. Firstly, I reminded her of the rhyme we were fond of when we were children - a rhyme we were told came from the tomb stone of a man in a small parish church in Worcestershire, England. It went like this:

Where'er you be
Let a Fart Go Free
For "twere the want of a fart
That killed poor me!

 

My friend started to smile but still didn"t see the humour in the incident we discussed. Not perturbed I reminded her of another childhood verse we must have recited a thousand times between us: It went:

Tarzan in the jungle
Got the belly ache
Wants to go to the toilet
Plurp, plurp [fart noise, fart noise]
Too late!

 

It was then that the switch went on and my friend laughed. Having her on the floor I continued reminiscing about fart incidents and anecdotes from our past.

When we were eleven we'd named fart types, just like millions have done in the past are doing now and will in the future. For us farts, loosely fell into two categories “rumblers” and “splips”. The biggest fart, the one we aimed for, was the “dynamite black rumbly”. The smallest fart, the one that we found very disappointing upon producing yet did cause us a different kind of amusement - think giggle as opposed to the guffaws that followed dynamite black rumblies - was from the Splip genus and known as a “light-switch”.

My friend continued to laugh but protested “but that was when we were young”.

“Excuse me?” I said - “what about two months ago?

“What about two months ago?” quizzed my tittering friend

Two months ago my friend had called to relate a tale a friend had told her that day. She'd found it extremely funny and wanted to share it with me. Dave X had remarked to her that he'd thought someone was driving a Harley Davison motorbike through his kitchen yesterday but it turne out to be just the sound of his wife farting.

My friend was still laughing when I returned to the subject of her dog-housed five year old by enquiring “Don't you think you're sending your son mixed messages?” She was cracking up when her son (the farter) entered the room and I did something I hadn't done in front of her for a good twenty years and probably more. I farted!

I laughed, she laughed and her son went into near hysterics. We had some explaining to do to her husband later that evening, but as expected, given a few drinks and convivial company he too laughed and in so doing found farts funny.

Proof positive that Farts are Funny.



Comments

Farts

Of course farts are funny, but being a lady I never emit a fart, because I am a lady. Also a bare-faced liar...... My Great Aunt had a saying, I quote" Where ere you be let your wind go free, in church or chapel, let it rattle". I have to add she was a great farter, it is a family thing you know. I think it is an inherited gene, because we are not a very accomplished family but boy, can we fart...............

More on Farts and Burps

Why is it that the male fart is "accepted", raved and graded but the female fart is "silenced", hidden, and "excused"? A true friend is one who says, "It's time to leave" before everyone starts running...(thanks for being my friend Robyn!) I too have been the bearer of burp acid express and there is nothing funnier than the face on the recipient when the sweet fragrance of sushi, beer and saki passes there nostrils. I have been reported to be the belcher in my family although my nieces are now my competition instead of my brothers. And finally... The walking, talking fart is the hardest one NOT to laugh at.... I am a controversy. MJ

FARTS are TOP!

Today - Good News for all those who are embarrassed to admit or emit they find farts funny or to make a public statement via them. FARTS ARE FUNNY! The proof is that the article is currently the most popular article on Xomba! YIPPEE! Justice at last!

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

The Never Ending Fart

I'm blushing - not becasue of an untimely fart but because of the last comment. To be the originator of this article, once ridiculed by Triond, now at home in the Highest Rated Panel of Xomba, is nothing less than the feeling one gets - we've all been there - after a well delivered "dynamite black rumbly" (see the definition of this in the article) - following which we say "better out than in". Another strange parallel is in the advice contained in the words of that ancient tombstone (quoted in full above): Where ever you be, Let a Fart go free... As with farts and the letting go of them, there are other articles I now feel the need to get published on Xomba.

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

Hilarious

I don't know about farts, but this article and all of the comments have me rolling. One of the best on the net. Kudos!

I Second Your Motion re Farting

Well said. We should go all out just one day of the year. I'm sure it would be beneficial - free up some rather up-tight retentive systems. With everything there is risk though - did you read the comment about the poor man who died - seemingly by poisoning himself with his bodily emmissions? The neighbours reported hearing sounds they likened to carpet being ripped but didn't realise what was happening. Poor man - how unfortunate - how embarrassing?! Thank you for your most valuable input once more jdubhub and to all followers of this Fart Saga.

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

I propose a new holiday: Fartsgiving

It is the day we celebrate the first time one pilgrim pulled another pilgrim's finger. Instead of turkey, we eat beans: baked beans, pork and beans, kidney beans, red beans and rice, garbanzo beans, lima beans, lentil beans, pinto beans, chili beans, Arthur Godfrey beans, Great Northern beans, etc (at the risk of sounding like Forrest Gump's friend Bubba). I would recommend that any Fartsgiving celebration be held outdoors and away from open flames, however. Safety First! For those living in the Southern Hemisphere, where November is much warmer, it should be celebrated by taking a ceremonial dip in a swimming pool to celebrate the invention of the jacuzzi by the Australian Sir Angus Fartsalot, who turned an ordinary bathtub into a heated, bubbling experience. JOIN XOMBA IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD!

Farting Thanks

So glad you enjoyed it - the comments offer much insight re farting issues too. People have let rip with their comments and I've had an offer to do a version of the article stand-up. There could be a future in farts for me - how lucky am I?

AndAnotherThing2 writes COMEDYand is Xomba's first featured HISTORIAN

This is Hilarious!

Fart are definitely funny. This is an awesome article. Enjoyed reading every bit of it. I created a funny fart page sometime back where you can find interesting and fun pics and information on farts. If you like, you can check it at Why do you Fart?

Aw man,

you really have to do it now; you wrote the letter and everything :)

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