So many people have been wondering how Fred made it with Aunt Lottie in New Orleans, so I thought I would give you an update.

My mother called the other day, and before I even got the phone to my ear, I could tell she was on the warpath. “I can’t find Lottie. I’ve called and called, and she’s not answering. Have you heard from her?”

“Well, yes, Mother. She actually came by the other day on her way to New Orleans.”

“What? That crazy old woman. Doesn’t she have enough sense not to driving all that way by herself?” My mother’s got worrying down to an art form.

“Well, she wasn’t exactly by herself, Mother.”

“What does that mean? Who was with her?”

“Somebody named Fred. They came by for a while before they left,” I replied, trying to sooth her.

“Fred who? Where’d she meet him? Just like her to take up with some old geezer she doesn‘t even know. I swear she needs to be put in a home.” This coming from a woman who was somewhat younger than Aunt Lottie but pulling up on her pretty fast.

“She met him at the senior center. He seemed like a nice guy, although I’m not sure he’s man enough to keep up with Aunt Lottie. I’m sure they’re all right. She’ll probably give you a call when she’s back. I’m sure you left her a message, didn’t you?” knowing full well my mother had left her a long, detailed message, another one of her specialties.

“You bet I left her a message, but I’ve got a good mind to call her back and leave her a little piece of my mind for pulling a crazy stunt like this.”

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, Mother. But I think you might wait a few minutes until you calm down. I’ll talk to you later.” And at that moment I knew my mother was dialing the phone, ready to give my adopted aunt more than just a little piece of her mind, but rather the whole kit and caboodle.

In the meantime, I decided I would ride over to Aunt Lottie’s and see if she was home. It had been almost a week since her New Orleans trip, and I’ve never her known to have enough patience to stay in one place too long. Sure enough, there sat the big old, red Cadillac in the garage. I knocked on the door, even though I know she never locks it, and pushed it open enough to call out. It’s not a great idea to burst into her house the way she does mine because I know for a fact that she keeps a loaded shotgun somewhere. “Aunt Lottie, you here?”

“Who’s there? Oh, hey, girlie. Come on in here. It’s so good to see you.” Aunt Lottie didn’t look any worse for wear considering. “How’d you know I was back?” she said as she plopped down in the chair.

“I just had a feeling. You know Mother’s been calling. Why didn’t you answer the phone?”

“Oh, I’m just letting her stew a while. You know your mama, if she ain’t got something to worry about, she ain’t happy. Never seen a woman so bent on worrying all the time.”

“Did you have a good time in New Orleans, Aunt Lottie?”

“Oh, yeah. Had a great time. Went down to the French Quarter, hung out with some old buddies in a jazz club. Even played and sang a little bit just like the old days. Gave them young ‘ens a few lessons.” She laughed as she got up and started wiggling her hips along to the strains of some blues song. “Yeah, it was fun. Fred and I had a ball. We danced the night away. Well, Fred didn‘t quite make it all night. Funny, but about that second night, he just sort of tuckered out on me around ten. I’m not sure if it was the dancing or that Hurricane I let him drink, but he was acting kind of strange. Probably should have checked that medicine he was taking. But anyway, I just sent him off to bed. You know me, I‘m kind of a night owl. Besides, he was fine the next morning.”

“How is Fred now?” I asked while looking around, half-way expecting he might be in the next room.

“He’s in the hospital in town, poor thing.”

“In the hospital? Aunt Lottie, did you hurt Fred?” looking at her suspiciously because it was just like Aunt Lottie in her zeal to have a good time to get a little rowdy, and something told me Fred might have got caught up in it.

“Course not, Honey. He’s just got a broke foot, that’s all. He had a little accident, and his kids got all excited when they found out and insisted that he go to the doctor. He didn‘t even know it was broke ‘til then.”

“What happened to Fred?”

“Oh, we were on the way back and I thought the car was sort of pulling to the side of the road, so I stopped and was going to look at the tire. Nothing do Fred but he just had to get out and look, too, but it wasn’t going flat or anything. So I told Fred let’s go, but I guess he didn’t get in quick enough because when I started off, he got his foot caught outside the door, and it kind of twisted it or something. I’m not sure if that broke it or whether the door slamming on it actually broke it. It don’t really matter which because he’s got a broke foot either way.”

“Aunt Lottie, you could have killed Fred,” I said knowing how Aunt Lottie only knew one way to push the accelerator, down.

“Oh, girlie, you can’t die from a broke foot. You sound like his kids. He’ll be back up and around before you know it. Oh, there goes that phone ringing again. I swear your mama gonna’ drive me crazy. Go on, girlie, let me talk to her and get it over with.”

I walked out the door, but stopped long enough to hear Aunt Lottie answer the phone, “Well, hey, girl, what’s up? What’s the problem with you? No, I didn’t get no message. Oh, you know me, it was just a short trip out of town. You such a worry wart.” And then she gave out one of those huge belly laughs, and I knew Mother had no chance. Aunt Lottie just has that way about her that you can’t stay mad at her.