Last night on the way home I was thinking about Christmas and what I was going to get my children this year. This has been probably the most difficult year of my life – I changed jobs twice, I moved to a new state for the first time in my life and my wife asked me for a divorce after eight years of marriage. So, I really want to make this year’s Christmas a real enjoyable time and for me that will start with my children. I was thinking ‘what can I do to really make it a “Wow” Christmas for my children that they, my ex and myself will remember for the rest of our lives” (not too much pressure right?). Then, I had to face the reality that neither myself nor my ex have very much money right now so the gift giving will probably be at a minimum this year. Ok, so now what can I do that is a “Wow” that won’t cost very much?

“Well”, I thought “what were the best Christmas gifts of my past and what did they have in common.” See, while my parents weren’t poor, they really never went overboard for Christmas either but it was always a high point of the year for my brother and I. “Why was that?” I thought. And as I thought of all these Christmases of my youth, I came to a startling realization – I could remember only one gift vividly from my recollection. There were tales that parents have told me about some of my toddler presents but I really could not recall them outside of their story. How could this be?! Out of the years and years and years that Santa has brought me gifts, I can only really recall one! “No” I question myself “you must be able to remember more. There must be a Ralphie Red Rider B-Gun somewhere in my past!” But there wasn’t as much as I wanted to agonize over it.

“So, why do I remember Christmas as being a great time if I can’t remember more than one gift?” was my next question. I mean you would think to a youngin’ gifts would be the most important thing about Christmas. So, I sat there and racked my brain – what was so special? Then it came to me –everyone was always happy, at least that is how I remember it. I can really remember everyone just laughing and smiling throughout Christmas! “Ok, why were they so happy?” was the next thought to enter my brain.

That took awhile longer to figure out. Was it because everyone was together? No, most of my relatives did not like each other very much. Was it because everyone left their worries at the door? No, a lot of my family worked during that time so I have to believe the stress of everyday life was still there. Was it because Christmas was finally here? No, if anything Christmas always seemed to be more hectic than anything I can remember. And I already determined it wasn’t presents.

But I couldn’t let go of the gifts for some reason. I was determined that everyone’s happiness was somehow tied into the gifts but I couldn’t think of how. Then it hit me – it was the giving. It was the taking the time out for however big or small to think of someone else and give them something. It didn’t matter whether you spent months (my mom) or minutes (my grandfather) thinking about a gift, it was that you thought of it at all. Whether or not you made someone’s dreams come true was almost immaterial, it was that you were trying to make someone happy and in that effort you made your self happy. It set the tone for the season – try to make someone happy and you, whether you know it or not, will make yourself happy -like the old saying – it is better to give than receive.

So this Christmas I will give whatever and whenever I can. I will try to give so that others may enjoy this time of year. I figure the best gift I can give my children this year is my happiness. If they can see Daddy happy, truly enjoying himself and enjoying himself with them, their mother and our relatives then will it be a Christmas they will remember forever.

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