There are a lot of things we've always wanted to know, right? But what most of us yearn for, deep down, is an understanding of what happens when you cross certain things with certain other things.

Have you noticed how, in popular culture, everyone seems to romanticise the vampire? Buffy, Interview With The..., Underworld etc. This is because everyone kinda wants to be one. I mean, you have flight, immortality, cool accents, fangs, the list goes on. Vampires are great, you've gotta admit.

On the other side of the coin is the zombie. Equally prevelant in pop culture, but far from romanticised. Look at 28 Days Later, Resident Evil, I Am Legend. They all had zombies, but zombies seem to suck. But why? Zombification has its advantages too. You're practically indestructible, no one would ever ask you for change, and your standards are so low you can be happy with nothing more than roadkill to munch on. But all our filmakers seem to focus on is the stupidy, slowness, and awkward shuffling step.

Now, while we're on the topic of modern day monsters, I absolutely bet you've all been wondering what happens when you set these two mammas against each other. Vampire VS zombie. YEAH! What an awesome idea.

The end result would be the vampire-zombie, which is of course an amalgamation of the two. This would be totally cool. You would have an immortal creature which can fly around during the day, eating garlic and entering churches as it pleases. It would have super strength and live for all eternity as one of the most feared and revered beings.

Of course, it might not work out like that. What if the vampire-zombie inherited the worst traits of both creatures? That would be a truly lame monster.

So in conclusion, that's what might happen if you cross a vampire with a zombie.

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Pete Malicki is an award-winning playwright who is responsible for the coveted short play, Interview With The Vampire-Zombie.

www.petemalicki.com