I used to hear the stories of the wild PregZilla when I was a small child. I thought they were extinct, but I found clear evidence that this carnivorous species is alive and well. My bathroom mirror served as a portal, taking me to a level of hormonal rage I never knew of.

I have witnessed the queen of PregZillas eat the meat off of the Zilla male's face with no provocation. For those of you who do not know, the male of the species is known as LaZilla. This is pronounced as "Laze-Ill-Ah". The LaZilla's sole purpose is to first, create the PregZilla, then secondily to engage her in unholy combat until one or the other falls dead.

How can this rare species procreate and not go on to be extinct, you ask? Simple. The PregZilla, though having the best memory of faults in the entire world, is also hopelessly blind at certain times. These times are known as mating season. Another aspect of their survival is the fact that LaZilla provides chocolate which renders poor PregZilla powerless. Some of the more advanced, Alpha-Males of the LaZilla also have an expensive florist on their speed dial in case of "life or death" emergencies.

When all else fails to calm the PregZilla down and she is about to sink her razor sharp teeth into the tender flesh of LaZilla, LaZilla can always actually do the frigging dishes like PregZilla asked him to in the first place. I'll let you all know if my husband survives this week. Until then ...

Keep Glowing.