My older brother Frank owned a bunch of cool cars over the years. One was a light blue Volkswagen Bug. It was a second car and he decided to store it in our mother’s garage. The garage was very cluttered and so the junk would have to be consolidated in one half. He asked me to help and we began working.

We went to pick up a large sheet of plywood from the back corner and, as I bent to pick up my end, I beheld the largest spider ever recorded in New Jersey. Well, perhaps a zoo or an exotic pet store had larger spiders. But this was definitely the biggest wild spider ever. I began backing away slowly, my eyes riveted to the amazing creature.

Frank asked what the hell was wrong with me. I said that there was a huge spider by that end of the plywood. Now my brother Frank is 6 years older than me with no siblings in between. In the world of males, that is a very lofty perch from which to exert peer pressure. The exact form his derision took escapes me, but by the time he wound down the choice was clear. Pick up my end, or be branded a sissy for the rest of my life.

I grabbed my end, closed my eyes, and hoped for the best. Various and sundry other items got relocated and Frank jumped in the VW and backed it into the garage. Now this was the old 70's model with manual everything including windows. He turned his head to look at me through his open window when he turned the car off.

Suddenly the smile left his face and his eyes dilated and bulged in an insect like way. He began to scream. To yell more loudly than I had ever heard him do before: “Bill there’s a BIG SPIDER ON YOUR NECK!” As he began to holler, he leaned toward the passenger side of the car and frantically cranked the window up. I have never seen a human face more expressive of horror and revulsion than Frank’s at that moment. I pray to God I never see its like again.

I began to leap around and swat blindly at my neck and shoulders. This life and death struggle proved too much to watch so Frank covered his face with his hands. I rapped on the window and asked if the spider was off my neck. He parted his hands enough to confirm it was gone. After verifying this he insisted that I scout the area to ensure the arachnid was no where in sight before he unlocked the door. Eventually he plucked up enough courage to open the door and bolt from the garage.

Its amazing the things peer pressure can make a man do.