"Blitzed" Middle School Teacher Arrested at Texas School

Thomas Brownlee, 56, of Richardson, Texas was arrested Tuesday after another teacher suspected he was drunk and reported him. Brownlee said he had two glasses of wine at lunch, but the fact that he reportedly was slurring his speech and couldn't complete a field sobriety test argues for significantly more wine. It is Texas, so it's possible that two is how high he can count.

Adding some hilarity to the case were Brownlee's vanity license plates emblazoned with "IMBLTZT". Brownlee's explanation? The plates are supposed to be read "I am blessed." He would have to admit that one might be excused for arriving at a different reading, though.

District spokesman Tim Clark added another cute touch when they announced that the children were never alone with Brownlee, so they had been in no danger. This, right after he got up from the fainting couch, having recovered from his bout with the vapors. If being around a drunk person were inherently dangerous to children, my own kids would be in big trouble. Just sayin'.