President Bush announced that the US is interested in working with other nations to ensure immigrants to the United States receive fair and just consideration when processing applications. However, he stated America reserves the right to enforce it’s laws relating to illegal immigrants. Aside from arresting, detaining and expelling illegals, the Bush government has some clever new methods to deal with this growing problem.
• Illegals recruited for appearances on “Survivor” where there are no cameras, challenges or Tribal Councils. Curiously, no one is ever voted off the remote desert island.
• Idaho forced to secede from the Union, but paid billions to become new nation and welcome relocated Idahonians arriving every hour by guarded school bus.
• Dick Cheney’s obsession with Mexican soap operas protects all Latino women under 30 from deportation, but they must adopt a dress code of half shirts and short shorts.
• Boat people forced back onto boats for a “3 hour tour” with The Professor and Mary Ann.
• Asian gang members granted citizenship if they agree to learn and re-enact elaborate dance scenes from “West Side Story”.