Okay, can someone tell me why someone who can spend millions of dollars on a wedding can’t seem to afford a double cheeseburger off of the Dollar Menu? SERIOUSLY. You make thousands of dollars per day, and you can't take five minutes to go through a drive-thru and make an order? Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie, you make me vomit (I'm sure you know all about that, eh?). As for Paris Hilton, I think maybe something from her lower quarters may have actually started eating its way upwards, if you know what I mean.

But really, there's starving Ethiopian children whose largest dream is probably that Donald Trump would finally send trucks of dollar bills around the country and build a McDonald's. Or that Hostess would sponsor a drop-off called Twinkie Tornado, HoHo Hail, Suzi-Q Sleet, or Red Cake Rain. Meanwhile, you sit in a bathroom guzzling Vodka while being videotaped in a sexual act and puking simultaneously. I don't know what is more vulgar, watching 2Girls1Cup or A Night On The Town With Paris Hilton.

I think we need to find the celebrities, hunt them down, and force-feed them cake until their eyes explode. The punishment for rich people with anorexia should be that they have to get clinically obese.