Growing up is hard to do when your family doesn’t have much money. I’ve been in that boat, so has my wife.

My parents made numerous sacrifices for my sister and I during the Great Depression. Dad walked many blocks on Chicago’s North Side to search for and buy milk.

During the World War II years our parents used their rationing stamps to buy us shoes as we outgrew footwear as fast as we did clothes.

Mom, though remarried, helped me through the University of Miami while I was on scholarship by doing my laundry and taking me out to dinner. I worked every summer.

After my dad died in 1960 while I was in Germany, the Army flew me to the New York-New Jersey area, and then I hopped a flight on standby to Chicago. I drove home with my mom to Miami. When my 30-day leave was up, the American Red Cross funded my airline ticket to the Northeast where I caught a troop ship back overseas.

I never forgot it and always contributed to what I consider the No. 1 charity when I started earning civilian pay. When I retired a decade ago, I didn’t stop. But lately I’ve been reading disparaging reports about charities that benefit fundraisers more than those they’re supposed to aid.

I started researching charities last fall when I suspected some weren’t putting their money where there mouth is. They spent too much on snail mail and phone calls asking for money.

One disturbing fact -- too many organizations I contribute to continued to inundate me with more requests for funds monthly, stuffing envelopes with free address labels, notepads, greeting cards, charity stickers and some included cash from a nickel to a buck to make a point.

I was shocked to learn many charities spend too much money trying to attract donors. I recall one phone call from a woman representing a children’s charity that didn’t have an 800 number and I learned an inordinate amount of money was spent on expenses, which included an outlandish sum for professional fundraisers.

Representatives soliciting money often try to pin me down on a specific amount. One guy was upset I wouldn’t commit to a certain amount.

“If you don’t give me a specific amount,” he said, “we can’t send you the letter.”

“Sorry,” I replied, “then I won’t be getting your mail.”

I got into it with another rep that got flustered when I asked what percentage went to for-profit fundraisers, how much was spent on expenses and what did the people needing assistance receive.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t have that information right now.”

“Goodbye,” I said.

When I read a story about quite a few military and veterans charities spending 30 percent or less of their donations on the men and women serving their country, I was agitated and did more research.

Out of 29 charities, 20 received failing grades of D or F. Several I have contributed to over the years fell in that group. Well, they no longer get my money. Instead I upped the ante to a couple on my list of worthy recipients.

It’s demoralizing to know Americans have been so generous answering appeals to help the wounded and paralyzed, giving about $464 million during the past two years.

Many such organizations received similar grades reported by the American Institute of Philanthropy (www.charitywatch.org) and Charity Navigator (www.charitynavigator.org) where you can check report cards of charities in different categories.

There’s some good advice about How to Know If Charities are Legitimate at ScamBusters (www.scambusters.org/charity.html) that includes:

Do some research on the charity. If you’re trying to figure out whether or not a particular U.S. charity deserves your support, check out www.give.org/reports/index.asp.

Don’t give to charities where most of the money goes to executive salaries, administrative cost and fundraising.

Always find out the exact name of a charity before you send a check.

Never donate if the caller uses high-pressure tactics, insists you donate immediately or if they can’t answer your questions.

Greg Melikov is a featured writer for Xomba.com. Read the rest of his work here .