Chasing Happiness
posted September 4, 2009 - 4:20pm
The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
-- Allan K. Chalmers
-- Allan K. Chalmers
This quote stood out to me during a transitional period of my life. It helped me to gain a
new perspective on the simplicity of happiness.
For as long as I can remember I have been chasing happiness. I never felt content. There was always something new that I had to get done and I thought in my mind once I was done with it all then I would be happy. I was constantly jumping from one extreme to the next. Happiness in my mind was a goal that I had to achieve.
The realization that I was lost in life hit me soon after I finished college. At this point I was already married; with two kids, a home, a job…I had everything that I was always taught that I was supposed to work towards. After I finished college and my life began to calm down I just had no idea what to do next. It was a terrifying feeling to feel like my life was over.
The life map that I had been following all those years finally ended and their was no address to put into the GPS to get me to where I was supposed to go next. I began to question every decision I had ever made in my life and I wondered if I made the wrong decisions and that is why I had reached a dead end. I dwelled on this possibility for a long time. I began to feel like I needed to go back to college and even more serious personal issues like I needed to get divorced and find the person I was meant to experience life with.
I went through a traumatic life experimental phase. In a sense I tried to start over my life and go back through all the steps that I had already gone through because I knew when I was going through the steps of life I felt complete…..or I guess the better way to describe it was that I knew where I was going.
Having the open road in front of me has been the most confusing time of my life. I am confident that it is more confusing than being a teenager. At least when you’re a teenager you know there are certain things in life that are expected, but when you’re an adult and you have reached all these milestones no one tells you what you are supposed to do next. I can see why so many people have mid life crises.
At the end of my life experimental phase I still had no idea where I was going to go next in life. I actually just felt more lost than I had before with a ton more stress put on top of me. I ended up spending a lot of time doing absolutely nothing productive with no goal in mind at all.
I surprised myself with how happy I could feel without having any goal at all. I actually felt happy when I wasn’t working towards anything, but instead just enjoying life as it was in the moment. I began to pay attention to the simple things all around me. I began to notice my husband more, and my kids, and the life that we had built for ourselves and I realized that just because we met all the “milestones” in life it doesn’t mean that I don’t have a purpose here anymore. It turns out that reaching the expected life milestones isn’t the road to happiness its really only building the foundation to an smooth, wide open road to really go wherever life takes us.
Chasing happiness is unrealistic. It is not something that needs to be caught. It is not complicated. Happiness is really a simple matter that we are all capable of achieving just by being open to it. I think the key is to realize that happiness is not always about meeting the next milestone, or buying the newest hype, its honestly just about feeling content and at peace with yourself and remembering there is no map to life and you are the one behind the wheel.
Join Xomba Today
Do you like to write? Would you like to make a little extra money on the side? These people do. Join the Xomba community today.
Become a Member
Comments
Post new comment