Children's Book Titles You Are Not Likely To See.....Ever:

1. Where You Really Came From......and Other Tales of Truth

2. Mommy? Why Do I Look Like the Mailman?

3. Frederick the Fly and the Attack of the Swatter

4. Mommy Drinks Because of Daddy's 2 -Year Old Secretary

5. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Conducting a Goldfish Funeral

6. Barney and Friends Visit the Ghetto

7. Midlife Crisis or Why Daddy Traded in the Minivan for a Corvette

8. (sequel to #4) Daddy Has a Girlfriend Because Mommy Is Frigid

9. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Sexual Torture Devices (this installment happens after they graduate from Hogwarts)

10. The Monsters Will Go Away If You Clean Your Room

11. Never Open Mommy's Nightstand Drawer and Other Rules Good Children Live By

12. Sesame Street or Bad Acid Trip? A Comprehensive Debate