Collections: Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other

posted June 4, 2008 - 8:47am

Collections: Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other

I have to admit that I too am guilty of collecting. I try not to be a “pack rat” and only keep things I’m going to need but it sometimes gets carried away. I have been told not to save anything I won’t use in the next five years but you know, it is hard to tell what I might need tomorrow.

There are many things people save or collect that will probably never be useful because the collector wants to collect it and not use it and then hand it down, to not be used by future generations. It is my opinion that this is strange behaviour but that’s okay - that doesn’t mean that collectors are not “normal” in every other way - or even that I am… I’m just sayin’…

Collections I find Odd

Stamps: A wonderful hobby, especially if you plan on mailing a lot of letters at some point - and in a pretty big envelope too because with inflation, you may need a lot of older stamps to add up to the cost of mailing a letter today.

Money: It is a good thing to collect but only if you are going to spend it, use it up, for crying out loud. That’s probably what your kids will do with it when they get it.

Insects: I get that entomology is cool (I like Grisholm;)), but unless you are going to use those dead moths and beetles for scientific research, take them fishing or something.

Rocks: Unless there’s gold in it (that you are going to melt down into jewellery) or it is very unique - like with fossils and you can send them with a natural history museum tour. There could also come a time when you may need to defend your home and property from bullet proof aliens and your rocks fit into a slingshot…

Dolls & Models: So pretty, so lifelike… but do they pay the rent? I cannot understand collecting a toy that you can’t play with, so unfair. Dolls are no fun unless you can cut their hair and smear lipstick all over their faces. Cars and planes and trains are no good unless you can play smash ’em, crash ’em and run them through dirt and water etc. Oh sure, they look nice till dust starts to settle on them, and maybe your collection gets a mention in “collectors monthly” but what comes after that? Tours, autographs, paparazzi? Not likely.

Cards and books: I love comic books - but mostly only when I can read them! They are especially no fun when they have a plastic shroud around them. Cards too, but at least in a card holder, you can see the whole thing. A comic book in immaculate condition, at least to me, isn’t worth a whole lot if I don’t know how good the story is; preserving those “unbelievable” graphics and then not being able to look at it - eh?!?

Collections that are useful

Rubber bands: You can do so many things with a rubber band, tie back the hair when cooking, keep a map rolled into a tube. Hold your fishing pole together for travel when it is taken apart. Why, I could do a whole page just about the many uses of a rubber band but there is much to be said about ‘self-discovery’, just grab one and jump on the “band wagon”. A word of caution, rubber bands get "stale", expiring after a length of time or having been wet, which increases the likelyhood of "snappage" that can be quite painful when contact is made on skin or in the eye. Look for hairline breaks in a rubber band before trying to stretch it to it's full elasticity potential.

Twist tie: Another useful gizmo. It doesn’t quite qualify into say, duct tape class useful, but it can be applied to many different everyday needs, and a few of them are default uses for when your rubber band collection has expired.

String: String, is a wonderful thing. It is really helpful if you are growing tomatoes or beans, I guess you would have to start collecting sticks then too which can be useful as well. Back to string, I like that it comes in so many cool colors and lengths and that it is so flexible…there was something else I wanted to remember, but, I don’t want to get too “tied up” in the string thing so I will leave it’s many terrific uses up to your imagination.

Washers, bolts, screws and nails: Well, firstly, all that stuff is mostly shiny, that should fulfil at least one of the requirements of being collectible. Secondly, that stuff is worth actual money - check your local hardware store. Usually the “big pickle jar collections” have the stuff that fits your needs because near the bottom of that jar, those washers have to be at least 20 years old by now, which is about the same age as that leaky faucet that was an odd size pipe and the hardware store no longer has that size washer. Of course, no wbsn collection would be complete without bent screws, ardocks and finishing nails, that have been pulled from their previous task in order to join the collective. They are perfect for when you want your nail or screw to go in crooked and be bent over the wood when you are finished.

Pens: These are truly a wonder of invention, and great collectors piece. A bit of advice for the novice pen collector, do not store them anywhere too warm (like the back pocket of your jeans) or you may find yourself with a case of the “blues” (hairspray may not even be able to get that stain out). Also be sure to only collect the pens with ink in them. If a fellow collector tries to sell or trade you for an “inkless pen” it is a scam - just turn and walk away slowly.

Matches: Always a good thing if you need to start a fire, or need a tiny piece of cardboard for a very small shim, or just want to pick your teeth etc. You can’t go wrong with matches (just keep them out of reach of children).

Now I realize that there are serious “collectors” that will probably want to defend this need to hang onto miscellaneous artefacts either for aesthetic purposes or because of the potential, future value etc. and best of all because they like them. You have to admit that it is an expensive, time and sometimes, space consuming habit and if you don't make any profit from it, well, where's the satisfaction? (unless acquiring it took you on a "Indiana Jones" like, adventure and you saved civilization while you attained it...)

The useful collections I have mentioned above have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, and most of the items are free if you are vigilant and keep your eyes open. They will increase in value as soon as you need them and doubly if somebody else needs them.