The Cutest Little Devil: More Confessions of a Nose Picker’s Mother

Why is it a toddler’s first mission in life to destroy everything that you own? From the time they can pull themselves up and open a cabinet door, toddlers seem to seek out what it is that brings that gasping sound to mommy’s mouth. The object of the game being: the louder mommy gets and the funnier the face that she makes, the more points earned. My 15 month old son has racked up at least 500,000 and every day the point count gets higher.

Let’s not forget the bonus points for breaking something that can’t be replaced like a plaster cast of your older child’s hand from preschool, or something expensive like an ipod dock. Every day I think to myself, are we teaching him, or is he schooling us? Baby proofing can only protect so much. Yes, I know. Baby proofing is to protect baby from danger, but I contend that it is to protect your house from the baby!

 With a whole truckload of toys and baby gadgets at his disposal, his preference by far is my cell phone, with a close second being the television remote control. I know I see a slight mischievous grin showing every time he changes the channel just as it’s getting to the best part of my favorite show. Why couldn’t he do it during a commercial? I’m convinced that he has now interpreted the word “no” to mean, “the most fun,” because the things I say (or shout) no to are the ones he continues to do over and over.

Take note that his chubby little hands can now reach the counter tops and things that were once safe are now at his disposal. From just filled up cereal bowls with milk, to stacks of mail and papers; there is no end to the messes he can make. Not to mention his speed puts baby superman to shame. In a blink of an eye he can have my entire purse emptied and my lipstick all over his face. Mother’s and pack and play manufacturers are aware that the best kept secret is that they couldn’t name it a cage, but you and I know that is what it is and it just wouldn’t have sold well at being named, The Baby Cage. Where else can I put the cutest little devil on earth when he’s just smashed a glass vase to smithereens and refuses to flee the scene of the crime so that his little feet don’t get cut up? Thank you Pack and Play! And thank you God for my littlest man who makes for a busy and blessed, yet somewhat stressed life!