FIRST DATE TIPSFirst Date

Be creative

Take a little time to think it through.
A three-hour date with a movie that lasts two and a half-hours is not a good way to get acquainted.
Then again, you don't want to be stuck staring at each other without a topic of conversation.
A daytime meeting takes the heat off.

Plenty of topics for discussion without having to deal with issues like: "What happened to your last relationship?" and you can avoid the usual casual chit-chat like:"My wife is still missing.""I met my first boyfriend on the prison bus."bla..bla..bla..

Clothing

Clothing is not optional.
Wear clothes that make you feel good.
New clothes always help - but if not new, be sure they're clean, pressed, and fit well - or if that's not your style - be sure they fit whatever way makes you feel the most comfortable and still look presentable.

Help the Other Person Feel Comfortable

Find something nice about your date and compliment her or him.
But mean it. Don't just say, "Nice shoes, Gladys."
"Swell belt, Ralph."
Let's review.
Find something nice. If it's painfully difficult to come up with something that you sincerely like about the person, you shouldn't be out with them in the first place.

Manners and/or Kindness

Thank the other person for the date - always, without exception. Good manners are still in style. Well, not necessarily good manners - but common sense. Human kindness. That sort of thing is always in style.
Focus on the Other Person - pay attention to your date. No wandering eyes. No preoccupation with old relationships, work, bank robberies.Be THERE.

Listen actively to what your date says. Don't interrupt. While your date is talking, don't spend time thinking about what you're going to say when it's your turn.
Attitudes and Habits - stay positive. Don't complain on a first date.Be cautious about alcohol - if you drink heavily, you're not going to be at your best. If your date gets swacked on your first date, it's not necessarily due to nervousness. He or she is likely to be a heavy-drinker, at best, and could end up drooling on your new, pressed clothes as you shovel him or her into a cab.

FLIRT

Dating Tips: Eye Contact

Eye contact is very important when dating, and a critical flirting tip. So many emotions, especially those dealing with interest, are conveyed through the eyes. Too little eye contact can lead your date to think that you're not interested in them, while too much eye contact can seem creepy and make your date feel uncomfortable. You have to maintain eye contact during the date, in order to convey your interest. When looking at your date, always look at their face, unless you are commenting on a specific piece of clothing or jewelry. Remember to gaze gently at your date – staring at them will come across as too intense, and may make them a little uncomfortable.

What Can I Do If I am Shy?

Being shy is nothing to be ashamed of, but in order to meet new people, it is something you have to overcome. In the beginning, you will need to place yourself in situations that make you a little uncomfortable, forcing yourself to speak when you would rather be silent. But you can learn a lot by practicing things you might say. Practice...practice...practice. Practice them in your mind until you are comfortable with what the words. Then take those words out for a spin! Once you are finished with the phone call, observe what you did well what didn´t go so well, then work on the things you feel you can improve in the future.

Showing You Like Her

Here are some easy ways to show someone you like them.

1) Say hello!

2) Ask a question about something you have in common, like school or work.

3) Compliment them on what they are wearing.

4) Really listen to them and show an interest in what they have to say.

Asking a Guy Out

Men and women are definitely created equal, but women have been asking men out for way fewer years. So it's natural to be a nervous about taking the plunge. To make things a little easier on yourself, plan an activity with a group of friends and invite the guy along. Just tell him that you and some friends are getting together and you were wondering if he would like to join you as your date. It's still clear you're together, but all those friends will be a great buffer if things go awry. Good luck!

Saying What Your Really Want To Say

Do you often find your foot in your mouth when you're talking to someone you really like? You are not alone. Lots of people get tongue-tied in romantic situations. Try these suggestions to loosen those knots!

1. Plan to make a few mistakes, and when you make a mistake, don´t focus on it.

2. Don´t overtalk. Most people make their biggest mistakes by saying more than they should.

3. If you don´t know what you want to say, take some time to evaluate. Many people say things before they process how they really feel.

4. If you really like someone, tell them. There is nothing wrong with being open and honest with someone. If they are worth your time, they will either respond in a positive manner or they will politely decline your offer.

How Can I Ask Her Out

Asking a girl out on a date and being successful may depend more upon you than the girl. First decide what type of girl you are interested in. It is good to ask people that you know, that have shown some interest in you and who have similar interests as you. Once you choose to ask a girl out, it is a good idea to know a little about her. Get some background information about her from friends. Asking can be done by using a creative approach (flowers, a poem, a small note or phone call), but once you have chosen a method, just do it. In some situations you might be rejected, but keep trying. Consider that 85 percent of all people who ask girls out on a date already know enough about the girl that they feel comfortable that the girl will go out with them.

How Can I Get A Girl?

How can you "get a girl?" First, stop using the phrase. It has a derogatory meaning and most girls don't like it. Second, figure out what type of girl you want to like you. Typically men and women date people who are similar to them (in looks, confidence, economic status, religious beliefs and values). Next, it is also a good idea to seek someone who you are attracted to. But the most important way to make a girl like you is to learn who you are. Then you will be confident in developing healthy relationships. The most attractive people are the ones who know who they are and treat others with respect.

Getting A Date

Everyone wants somebody to love (or so the song goes). But is everyone ready to be loved? Is everyone ready to date? If you hesitated when answering this question, you probably need to answer a few others first. What are you doing to increase your chances of getting a date? There are lots of resources, both traditional and online, that are available to help you meet people. Second, are you preparing yourself to be a good dating partner? When you do start dating, you'll want to be ready to talk about yourself, your interests and local and national issues. And third, do you have confidence in yourself? If you invest some time in these three areas, you will be more likely to succeed once you begin dating.

How To Tell If He Likes You

Men and women may be from different planets, but there are still ways to interpret the signals they send each other. When observing the male of the species, watch what he says and does around you. If you don´t have any idea if he likes you, try to interact with him more. If he flirts or responds to you, he probably likes you. You could also have friends ask him if he likes you. (This is more common in high school or junior high.) The quickest way to find out is to ask him out. When you are dating, watch his body language. Obviously physical signs such as holding hands and kissing should mean that he is interested.

Good Manners

People today don't put a lot of store in rules of etiquette. Life has become a little bit looser, a little more freeform. But when you ask someone out on a date, you still want to give them plenty of notice. Traditionally, it is considered bad manners to call any later than Thursday for a Saturday date (Wednesday for Friday). This may seem antiquated, but it shows a certain level of respect for the person you are interested in. Once you have been dating for a while and are considered a 'couple,' this maxim drops away and the two of you can make your own rules.

How Can I Tell If Someone Is Interested In Me?

Somewhere between 80-90 percent of all first dates occur after two people show each other a little attention. People typically do not ask someone out that they do not know. So if you want to ask someone out, it's a good idea to try talking with the person first or, at the very least, establish a little eye contact. In general, most people can get a feel for whether someone would want to date them or not. If you do not know whether the person is interested in you, take a little more time and try to interact with them before you ask them out. Do they respond to your attempts at communication? Do they flirt with you? Do they smile at you? Are they open with you? Answer these questions and you will know if someone is interested in you.

Be Confident!

Asking someone out takes confidence. In fact, people who are more confident are more likely to get a first date. Why is this so? How we communicate -- both verbally and non-verbally -- determines our success. Have you ever analyzed what verbal and non-verbal messages you send to perspective dating partners? Practice direct eye contact, a strong voice with inflection, confident posture and gestures, and you will appear more confident to your prospective dates. This should help you feel more confident and hopefully, send you on your way on more first dates.

Help to Control Blushing When Talking to a Boy or a Girl

There is one cognitive behavioral trick used by psychologists that may help tone down the blushing and make you feel more relaxed. It takes some practice but it's worth it to reach your goal.Sometimes looking at your fears in an exaggerated way can help alliviate the painfulness of the thoughts so that you relax. Asking yourself what is the worst thing that can happen and then imagine it happening will help take away some of the agonizing fear of making a mistake or not looking natural because it will help you see how unlikely that it will happen and that it's not the end of the world if you are not perfect.Also, remember that we tend to think it is worse than it really is and beat up on ourselves while others may notice some redness or blush and yet not see it as a big deal.Another goal to practice is to have a ready answer if someone does mention the blushing such as: it's warm in here or I'm shy and I like you.Blushing is common and not always seen as a problem but as an endearing quality. However, if you feel it interferes with a normally functioning life, there are medicines that may help when prescribed by a doctor.

I Understand

I understand I must love myself before I can love others.

I understand I must be open so I can open others unto themselves.

I understand I must be honest if I expect that of my friends.

I understand I must speak truth if I am to hear the truth spoken.

I understand that I must reach out ot people if I am to be touched.

I understand I must share If I am to be given.

I understand my knowledge must be used if I am to grow.

I understand you must have freedom if I am to be free.

What If She Likes Someone Else?

You like her. She's dating him. It may seem like an impossible situation. But remember, dating isn't married. The younger you are, the less likely it is that her relationship will last too long. The best thing you can do is be the best you possible, be the best friend to her possible and be patient. And if an opportunity arises for you to let her know how you feel, take it. Knowing your feelings may be the only push she needs to leave her current relationship and give you a try.

Be Creative

Men and women like being asked out in creative ways. To impress the person you are asking out, consider:

1) writing a poem or greeting card

2) sending a small gift with an invitation

3) decorating the front door of their house, apartment or dorm room

4) sending them tickets to one of their favorite events

5) finding out what they enjoy doing and planning a date around their interestsThe more the date is designed around their interests, the more creative they will find it...and the more likely they are to say 'YES!'

Do you know if you ARE flirting (could you be accidentally flirting)?
The following actions are considered to be REAL flirting indicators - check them out and see if you're sending (and receiving) the right message:
How to tell she likes you:
She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated. Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.

Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you. She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours. She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way... She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance. She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.

Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth....

She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm. She puts her fingernail between her teeth. She laughs in unison with you. She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you. Plays with her jewelry, especially with stroking and pulling motions.

She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.

Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile usually indicates interest in you. While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up. In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you. While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.

Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.

BRAKE UP ADVICE

We all agree it is compassionate to avoid hurting people’s feelings whenever possible. The “whenever possible” clause creates some confusion when ending a relationship, however. This is an inherently painful time for one or both parties. Many tactics have been used, when breaking up with someone, to attempt sidestepping this inevitable truth. They all fail. Worse yet, avoidance of the plain, honest truth causes more misery then is necessary in these situations. Therefore, avoid being evasive or vague. Be direct while taking responsibility for what you want. There are no strict rules about how to end a relationship. However, a few tips can help when breaking up with someone.
Don’t be evasive, unclear or vague. Be direct and to the point. This is not an enjoyable matter for either of you. Giving false hope or making your partner guess at what you want prolongs everyone’s misery.
Do not break up in stages. You may think this will make the loss easier. Don’t fall for it. This only serves to administer low, medium and high doses of pain over a longer interval.
Don’t lie or invent a story. Things will not add up and the falsehood will be found out sooner or later - usually sooner. Getting over a break up is hard enough without introducing mistrust. Making someone piece together bits of information while leaving him/her to guess what is true causes unnecessary pain.
Don’t blame someone or something else for your choices. Identifying and asking for what you want is an important developmental step and is necessary for mature relationships. Also, hiding behind excuses is pretty transparent. It is likely the other person will see what you are doing. Conversely, if he/she actually believes your excuse, the person will try and problem solve how to remove whatever relationship obstacle you’ve fabricated.
Don’t delay ending a relationship. Once you know you want to break up with someone, it does not help if you deny what you feel. Your partner will sense a change, perhaps reaching out for reassurance. This may feel like “neediness” to you which will increase your feelings of being stuck.

Dating After Divorce

Take TimeWhen dating after divorce, it’s easy to see your first relationship through rose-colored glasses. This is understandable and normal. Most of us emerge from any breakup, to say nothing of a divorce, with a lot of pain and heartache. Perhaps we feel like a failure or feel rejected or abandoned. This is especially true if we weren’t the ones who wanted the divorce, but even if the divorce was on our initiative, the process is painful. The first new relationship after all those painful feelings, therefore, can feel like a gift from heaven, salvation from rejection, loneliness, and failure. And it may be all of these things. But it can also be a rebound relationship, one that pulls you out of those depths and results in your seeing the new relationship through a distorted lens. You might ignore or dismiss obvious areas of incompatibility. Worse yet, you might gloss over potentially dangerous issues like abusive or controlling behaviors, substance abuse, or other risk-taking behaviors. Some of these risks are reduced by giving yourself a sufficient break between your divorce and dating after the divorce is final. That first relationship after your divorce may be exciting, fun, and full of new experiences. Enjoy it, love, live, and learn. But be careful.

DATING AND ROMANCE

Sexual Experiences

Is it possible to maintain a loving relationship when your partner wants to experience sex with other people? Although many people decide to separate or divorce, others create alternative arrangements.
A predetermined length of separation, allowing pursuit of other interests, is chosen by some couples. Remaining together is possible for others through establishing “rules” to guide what outside sexual behavior is permissible. Less frequently, both individuals want an “open relationship” that eliminates all constraints regarding sex.
If one of these options is not hurtful to you, it may be possible to continue your relationship now or later. However, you must be 100% honest about what is right for you. Do not let fear of losing the relationship make this decision for you. Sacrificing what you need in order to salvage a relationship won’t work long-term.

Hearts, Flowers, and Cold Hard Facts

As a relationship progresses, it's tempting to pretend everything's OK even when it isn't. It may be embarrassing to end a relationship when you've told all your friends that this is "The One," but that's a whole lot better than ending up sad, betrayed, and/or broke. Some questions to ask yourself, while you're reveling in the new romance: -- Do I know my partner's past? Someone who doesn't seem to have a history may be concealing a spouse -- or a prison record. -- Have I met my partner's friends, roommates, or family? You don't need to have dinner at Mom's every Sunday, but someone who doesn't seem to have any social contacts may be married and cheating, or may be isolating you from people who know his or her real story. -- Does my partner express anger appropriately? Everyone gets frustrated sometimes. If your partner's anger is out of control, doesn't seem to subside, or if you're somehow the one apologizing every time, there's a pattern of control going on. -- Does this person seem to be making the relationship a priority? Some people genuinely have tough schedules. Or you may be dating a "player" who is concealing other loves. -- Does this person seem to rely on alcohol or drugs? An active addict (one who is still using) will ALWAYS put the addiction ahead of everything else. -- Are words of love accompanied by real listening and consideration for your needs? -- Has this person asked you for money? -- Does this person blame others for all his or her troubles? -- Does this person put you down?

Being Romantic

What makes a person romantic? It's not flowers, silk sheets, or expensive proposals with the entire Disney cast in attendance. The real romantic idea is one that comes from noticing and appreciating your partner. That means knowing that she hates roses and would rather have daffodils, or that his idea of a dream date is metal-detecting on the beach, not touring art galleries. Lots of companies are in the business of peddling romance. They want you to believe that romance will come alive if you just buy this romantic getaway, that dinner, those candles, this CD. Those things can be nice, but only if they are given with a real understanding of your partner's tastes and desires.

Ready for a Relationship?

No matter how much you may want a partner in your life, there are times when being single is the best choice. Ask yourself these questions to start: -- Am I too young for a relationship? Sexual relationships can be harmful physically and emotionally if you're too young to make good decisions. Young teens may like the idea of dating, but if a boyfriend or girlfriend becomes the focus of your life, you may be missing out on the chance to know other people and grow up socially. -- Do I have time for a relationship? If you're working every weekend and going to school full-time, when are you going to see your date? If you have full custody of the kids, what arrangements can you make to allow for an adults-only social life? If you're in an intensive grad-school program, can you spare the energy to get to know someone new? -- Am I over my last relationship? Many experts recommend waiting a year after a divorce or the end of a major relationship before exploring a serious new romance. (Of course, many divorced people violate that "rule" all the time.) If you can't get through a first date without talking about your ex, it's too soon. -- What have I learned about relationships? Your past romances, the experiences of the people around you, and your interactions with friends all contain lessons about getting along with others, avoiding unhealthy situations, and building strong connections. Knowing your own goals and deal-breakers can help you make good choices.