What women say and what they really mean:

I'm going over to my mom.

Really means: I'm pissed and want some time away from you.

I have a night out with the girls:

Really means: I can't stand you anymore. I'm hoping to meet some cute guys when I go out tonight.

You're the best.

Really means: I need money for a new car honey.

You look great today

Really means: Can you take me out to an expensive dinner.

I need some money to go grocery shopping:

Really means: I need money to buy new clothes, perfume and shoes but that's just after I buy the grocery.

My friend just bought a BMW

Really means: I want one too and can you buy it for me.