David Beckham is hated by a particular type of man – we all know the type. They are jealous of Becks because he is good looking, because most women fancy him, because he is completely stylish, has a great family, is more successful than Roy of the Rovers (the fictional soccer star), is extremely wealthy, owns a portfolio of overseas properties and has played for leading teams including Manchester United and leading teams in Madrid and Milan. These types are envious of the high repute in which Becks is held by players in all leagues. They are even jealous that he was interviewed by Ali G, that he can wear skirts and of his stint in LA at The Galaxy! They have virtual fits every time he is called to play for England in the national side. 2010 will be Becks third Football World Cup and this has done the jealous men’s head in.

•  Images from Wikipedia

It was to be expected that these jealous types would cook up some story to rubbish him. One such story promotes the theory that without his signature football boots he would be like a Saturday League player and no better than the men who detest him. Becks’ detractors should know that their jealously is patently obvious and very, very unattractive.

• Bend Them Like Becks in His Cleats

Becks has an uncanny knack of scoring from free kicks and passing long distances to assist goals. If he cheats at all it is because the Wilma Proops helps him out with lifestyle advice and that Becks and Posh worship at shrines to the Goddess of Football in his various houses.

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• “Many a true word spoken in jest” Wilma Proops