Hello, xombians and fellow blog readers. I hate to disappoint you'll but I relapsed today. After doing so I felt bad about it. I have also noticed the pain I have had in the past few days, come back. It really wasn't gone, but it wasn't as strong. After smoking a twenety in two joints of tobacco, I felt it. It's like I got $25 in my hand and I immediately went to go buy some drugs. It was like a ritual or an immediate response to, I got some money! Let's get high!

I am very sorry if I have let any one down. I will try harder from now on not to get high. I know for a fact that I get to acting like a junky when I get some money in my hand. Well please, Lord (and yall pray for me to)take this taste for drugs from my mouth, and replace all of my bad habits with good habits. I beg of you.

Today I was contacted by a rap group that wants me to manage them. We had a meeting today at their studio. I told them all I want was 15% off of their shows that I get for them. I really don't want to go into this thing with a drug problem. Especially one that can get out of hand. I also don't want the group to know that I am a drug addict or a recovering one at that. Plus my oldest daughter talks to one of the artist. But, their relationship is weird. They might not be together for long. So, I wonder how any if all of this will affect my chances of managing the next hottest rap group to blow. If you know what I mean.

Well Christmas has came, and gone, and the kids have enjoyed themselves. We have been having a house full of kids over the holidays, spending the nights and playing all through the night into the next morning. Finally some peace, and I'm glad. Now it's time to bring in the New Year, and file for taxes. I called the Social Security Department to find out if they have made a decision on my claim yet. They said they have, but they couldn't tell me what the decision was. I dreamed last night that I was counting money. I think that that was a good sign that I will be coming into some money. So, I hope that means that I will be getting my disability check soon. That way alot of this pressure of paying some bills and old debts, buying a car, moving, and starting a new business will be off of my mind. At least I hope so.

I turned in my dvd reviews for StreetMasters Magazine. If I felt like they were worth reviewing on Xomba I would, but they are just a bunch of rap dvd's. To tell the truth; After watching a few of them, for example this one called Hoodz DVD Magazine on the beef between rappers Jay-Z and Camron, and Hoodz DVD magazine on Jim Jones of the rap click Dipset; The rap game is tooken very seriously in New York. It's almost like your in a gang and your at war with a rival gang. It's all about the money, women, power, and respect.

Until next time you have been reading, "The Battle Within."