Today I feel Like s***. I suppose it has something to do with me not getting enough sleep, or maybe it's got something to do with the small heart attacks I think I've been having. Maybe it's my body coming down from my past drug use. Then again it could be the bad news I got from the Social Security Department, that they denied my SSI claim.

When I got that letter from the Social Security Department yesterday, it was like I knew what their decision was before I opened the letter. After opening it, and reading their decision I became very depressed. The good thing about it is that I did tell my wife, and I immediately started looking, and applying for jobs on careerbuilder.com. I do not agree with their decision but I am so stressed out about the long wait just to hear that they denied my claim, that I don't even want to be botthered with applying again, or appealing their decision. I did get a lawyer just in case this happened, so maybe they will get everything straightened out.

I stayed up last night watching movies. My favorite was Insomnia, starring Al Pacino, and Robin Williams. This was my second time watching this movie in two days. It was also my first, and second time. Early this morning I watched some special footage on the dvd. There were two people that I guess suffer from insomnia for real, in real life, and two experts talking about the effects of insomnia. One of them said that you can die from it. That got me very alarmed. Because I have been having problems sleeping. And, I know that besides my cigarette smoking, and my past drug use, and hollering, and fussing alot lately, that all of the above could be why I have been having pains in my chest. I'm going to see about it next week. I am also going to see a specialist about my insomnia, and while I'm at it I think that I need to go see a neurologist also.

I have been cranky all day so far. My phone started ringing around seven something this morning. It was one of my oldest daughters friends. Then I kept hearing some pecking noise. I got up to see what it was, and to bitch at my daughter about having her friends call my house late at night, and early in the morning. Then what made it so bad; She had to be at the bus stop in a few minutes but was gossiping on the phone early in the morning. I had to tell her to get off, and pick her dirty clothes up off of the floor, and put them in the dirty clothes basket. The dirty clothes basket was empty, so I don't see why she hates putting her clothes in there. They be complaining when I say something about their dirty panties, but they keep leaving them out where I can see them all the time. After she left, I went to the restroom, where I noticed that she didn't even clean the tub behind herself. Now, I was pissed, because she can find time to talk on the phone, but she can't clean up behind herself. I hope they leave that tub like that because when she gets home I'm gonna make her clean the whole entire bathroom.

I was also pissed because I can't sleep at night. My nights since december 24, have been miserable, and the shut eye I do get doesn't help much; Especially when my phones ringing, people are making noises, and knocking on your door. The only person not getting any rest is me. Can you feel how stressed, and sick I am? And, them bastards don't wana give me disability. F*** em. I'll make it, some way some how.

P.S. thank yall for reading, and replying to my blogs. I guess somebody is listening, and cares. Until next time this has been another blogging of, "The Battle Within."