Dealing with Children on Their Level

All of the below are true experiences while caring for sick children in their homes.

I grew up in the hills of North Carolina. As you might imagine, I still have a strong North Carolinian drawl. I was speaking to an 8 year old girl from New Jersey who was ill and wasn't eating. Her mother explained to me that the girl liked ice cream so I asked her; "What's your favorite ice cream?"

The girl blushed and looked at her mom. Her mom nodded for her to answer the question. The girl's response: "Preperation H?"

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I was sittting on a couch beside a 5 year old boy. His pregnant mother was sitting on his other side. The boy reached over and patted his mom's tummy and said; "Mommy is going to have a little girl". He then felt mine and said; "What's yours going to be?"

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I was visiting a teenage boy who was taking every advantage of his illness. His room was cluttered with clothes and games. His mother came in several times during the visit and scolded him. Finally; she came in once more and asked; "Where's the broom?". The boy responded; "Why; where are you going?"

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In addition to the above, I've learned some hard lessons while caring for children:

1) Don't sit the toddler on your lap until AFTER you ask mom if he has diarrhea.

2) Never allow a toddler to hug you after you've inflicted pain. That toddler has teeth!

3) A child with a runny nose is always the one who will kiss you on the lips.

4) Never try to reason with children. They are all smarter than you.

5) If you're going to hurt a child, bring a football helmet along.

6) Know what you're talking about. Study all of the latest Disney movies, Blues Clues, Sponge Bob, etc. If you do not; you stand no chance of communicating with a child.