Dear Santa:

It's been such a long time since I have written you, but I am sure you remember me.

I have been a really good girl this year, unless you count that little incident in the Walmart store. Honestly though, that was an accident. How was I to know that there was another man walking around wearing my husband's butt? It was only a little pinch, I didn't mean to make him jump quite that high and I did catch him when he slipped.

I know he would have accepted my apology, if only I had been able to stop laughing long enough to get one out.

Still, these things happen, as I am sure you understand.

As for the little incident at work, it was only meant to be a joke. How was I too know when I put that dummy in the window so it looked like someone was robbing the till that the morning cook who opened that morning would get so hysterical? Calling the police was one thing, but the S.W.A.T. Team was a bit much. Besides, they only kept her overnight for observation. She really didn't have a nervous breakdown.

It seems people just don't have a sense of humor anymore.

As for the rubber cookies at the PTA meeting, well who would have thought that the principal would have tried to swallow one whole? You must admit, it did work out for the best as everyone present got to see how the Heimlich maneuver was performed first hand.

We all know more about first aid than we did before the incident.

Now that I think about it, can you tell me if that lump of coal will burn all right in my new wood chip stove?

I still think your are the best, and I'll start looking forward to next Christmas now.

Your friend,
Martie