Dear Uncle Sam;
I just checked my banking account balance and realised that I have spent $4,000 more than I have made this month. I really need some help here. I just saw on CNN News that you gave out more money than I can count so $4,000 should not even put a dent in your budget.

Besides; I just noticed that you spent a lot of money for nothing. You spent:

$4,840,875 for refinement of processing technology for laminated veneer lumber for furniture, flooring, and other specialty industries.

I spent over $600 to have my floor veneered. If I'd known you already spent the money for me, I would have demanded it for free.

$36,741 for conservation science at Lincoln Park Zoo. This zoo is rented for weddings and other partys. For that amount of money, I could've had one heck of a tailgate party at the Gator's football game!

$770,472 by Sens. Joe Biden (D-Del.) and Thomas Carper (D-Del.) for oyster revitalization in the Delaware Bay.
Why are oysters so expensive? I would think that $770,472 would buy me a lot of oysters.

$492,000 by Sens. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio) and George Voinovich (R-Ohio) for Rolls-Royce Fuel Cell Systems. I really need that! My Rolls-Royce isn't getting near the gas mileage of my Honda Civic.

$492,000 by Senate appropriator Wayne Allard (R-Colo.) for the Rocky Flats Cold War Museum. The intention of this proposed museum is to highlight the role of Rocky Flats in manufacturing nuclear weapons during the Cold War.

WOW! I had no idea Rocky Flats saved our butts. That's certainly worth nearly a half million of our money.

$19,942,000 for four projects funding presidential libraries, including: $8,000,000 by Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) for the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library in Boston, Massachusetts; $7,432,000 by House Financial Services Appropriations Subcommittee member Gary Miller (R-Calif.) and Senate Appropriations Committee Ranking Member Thad Cochran (R-Miss.) for the Richard Nixon Presidential Library in Yorba Linda, California; $3,760,000 by Senate appropriator Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Texas) for the Lyndon Baines Johnson Presidential Library in Austin, Texas; and $750,000 by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.), Sens. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) and Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), and Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) for the Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library in Hyde Park, New York.

How about a library for our kids with books that aren't 20 years old!!!

Ok. I've got the message. I earn $30,000 per year. $10,000 is going to worhtless projects. That leaves me with $20,000. Another $600 is paying federal taxes. Then there's state taxes and FICA and health insurance. What am I complaining about? You guys in Congress are doing a bang up job and I have nearly $5,000 to support my family!!!