When my son wanted a puppy 15 1/2 years ago, never did I dream I would soon be meeting the most loyal and faithful friend I had ever known. We found a puppy, a Husky/Shepherd mix.

When my son wanted a puppy 15 1/2 years ago, never did I dream I would soon be meeting the most loyal and faithful friend I had ever known. We found a puppy, a Husky/Shepherd mix. She was 8 weeks old and my son wanted to name her Mandy. Of course bringing Mandy home was a big thrill and he spent every minute with her... for a few weeks. Slowly the responsibility of taking care of Mandy fell on me. I didn't mind at all. In fact, I had expected it.

Mandy came into my life at the perfect time. My son was nearing his teenage years and having Mandy to take care of made it a little easier to start letting my son go, to let him start to grow up. Mandy became my constant companion. Over the next 14 1/2 years Mandy and I went for many walks, went to many parks, and spent many afternoons sitting outside watching the world go by.

We went to many lakes and rivers, as Mandy loved swimming. She couldn't wait to get into the water. However, when bath time came, she wanted nothing to do with it! As my grandchildren came along, Mandy appointed herself their babysitter, and would watch over them as if they were her own.

In Mandy's later years, she suffered from arthritis in her hips, and eventually throughout her body. I took her to the vet every 2 weeks for an injection to lubricate her joints, which helped a lot. Around the beginning of 2008, I discovered a small lump in her stomach area. She was diagnosed with cancer of the spleen. As the months went by, the tumor grew larger. The vet advised against surgery to remove it due to her age. I agreed and set out to make the most of the life that Mandy had left.

Mandy and I spent many quiet evenings sitting outside during the Spring of 2008. She was no longer able to run and play much, but she did love to lay outside and listen to the noises, smell the smells, watch the wildlife. I spent as much time with Mandy as I could. Every night I would sit on the floor with her and brush her, talk to her, let her know that she was loved.

On June 12, 2008, Mandy had stopped eating. She was having spasms in her stomach and seemed to be in pain. I made an appointment to have her put to sleep the next night, Friday, June 13th. Upon arriving at the vet, she seemed fairly happy and comfortable. The vet didn't feel her time had come yet and suggested that we try steroids. It might give her a few weeks or a few months. I wasn't sure what to do but he said if the steroids were going to help her, I would see a difference that very night. If I didn't see an improvement by morning, he would come in that Saturday morning and put her to sleep so she didn't have to suffer the weekend until they opened on Monday. By the next morning, the difference was like night and day. She was happy, alert, peppy, and even trotted at times. She was eating very well and looking like her old self again. Mandy and I had three more wonderful weeks together.

On July 1, her breathing was slightly labored and I wondered if her time was coming. The night of July 2 was the same. When I woke up on July 3, she didn't eat her breakfast. Her lunch also went uneaten, so I called and made an appointment at the vet to see what was going on. She did eat her dinner late that afternoon, and a piece of cheese. However, since the vet was closing for the long weekend I thought we'd keep the appointment anyway, just in case. On the way out to the car, she was especially slow. I remember turning to look at her behind me and it seemed like she was saying "please don't be mad, I'm trying". I said "It's okay, Mandy". When we got to the car, she suddenly seemed confused, as though she couldn't figure out how to get in. I had to hoist her up into the car and kind of fell onto the back seat with her, she was heavy! As I backed out of the driveway, I noticed that her tongue was pale, a sign of her tumor bleeding. About 5 minutes into the ride, I noticed she seemed to jerk in the back seat. I turned and looked at her, she was laying down with her head on the seat, which she never did. She picked her head up and looked at me and I said "It's okay, Mandy, everything is okay". I had one hand on the wheel and the other on her in the back seat telling her, "It's okay, Mandy, it's okay, everything is okay". My son was with us and a few minutes later I said "I don't think she's breathing anymore". He turned and confirmed what I had said. My Mandy had passed away in the back seat of the car. Oh, how my heart broke. I don't know how I made it to the vet the way I was hysterically crying. I didn't want to stop because I thought what if she's not dead and the vet could help her, or at least help her to die.

When we arrived at the vet I went around to the back seat and I just couldn't comprehend that my sweet Mandy could be dead. I went inside to inform them that we were here. I had hysterically called them on the way and told them I thought she had passed away. The vet came out and got into the back seat with her and confirmed that she had passed. As he got out he patted her head and said "You're a good girl, Mandy". My tears kept flowing like rivers. The assistants came out and carried Mandy into one of the rooms for me and said to stay with her as long as I wanted. Even though they were closing for 4th of July weekend, they said nothing as my son and I cried our eyes out in the room with Mandy until we were finally able to pull ourselves away. One of the hardest things I have ever done was forcing myself to leave that room, to leave my Mandy, knowing I would never again see her on this earth.

A year has passed since that night, and still as I write this, the tears flow and my heart aches. My journey of grief has been long and hard. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have felt guilty, angry, hollow. I miss her more than I ever even imagined that I would. You see, Mandy was not just a dog, just a pet. Mandy was my best friend and she lives on in my heart forever.

Mandy 11/9/93 - 7/3/08