If a had pills, I would have swallowed them. If I had loaded gun, I would have pulled the trigger. If somehow I had the energy to walk to the car, put the keys in the ignition, I'm quite sure I would have sought oblivion in the headlights of an oncoming semi-truck.

Life had been going downhill for awhile, now. I had one lifeline left. It snapped. She had found someone else. I slumped onto the bed with a chaotic swirl of demons in my head. I'd never felt so completely disconnected from life, happiness, and the will to survive. My eyes shut with overwhelming fatigue, wishing fervently that they'd remain permanently in that state. They didn't. I woke up. I swung one leg to the floor, then the other. I went about the arduous task of climbing out of my hole, and motivating myself to carry out the daily grind.

That bit of melodrama aside, I've dealt with serious depression for a good number of years. And only for a brief period have I ever taken medication. I've learned to deal with it through more natural means, such as exercise, positive mental techniques, and just giving myself a good swift kick in the behind. We are constantly bombarded with ads for miracle pharmaceuticals to deal with chronic depression. Sometimes I think pharmaceutical companies are the worst pushers of all. As a society, we've become dependent on quick fixes, rather then take a more wholistic approach to our problems. I'm not saying these medications don't have merit, but becoming dependent on them, in most cases, is a huge mistake. The side effects can sometimes be worse than the disease.

How did we ever get along before the invention of anti-depressants? I know in my case it was far too easy to obtain a prescription for them. Probably half the people I know have taken meds for depression at one point in their lives. If we only put a little more faith in ourselves the majority of us would find we have the emotional resolve and resources to lift ourselves out of the hole of depression. I know I'll never be a druggie again.