Different state of mind, from that of the original.

An unwelcoming ,frightening darkness seeps over me.
I am trapped within myself
No one to hear my soundless screams
The floors seem to shake
As my already quivering legs & knees give out from beneath me.
Every night this unspeakable treachery takes away the simple joy of a never ending rest.
Haunting me into this endless blackness that I must face alone.
For me each night I lay awake, warding off the enemy that nears.
My only companion is that of my mind, but betrayal has taken root.
And the madness creeps on.
Though my body has been such an inviting comfort, up until lately where, I have found that it is allies with my very insecure mind.
Both ruthless & heartless..
They together surge on to meet their goal.
Once reached destruction will be at the peaks of clarity.
And all will be understood.
I cry for the urge to give into this darkness .
I have no family, no friends, only foes.
Enemies that lie within.
To reach into this black, hollowness that I still call my heart is just as sad & cruel ,
As shutting these eye lids of mine, as I shut them I feel the warmth of hell seep over my indescribable face.
What have I become?
But a hopeless, hideous beast.
It seems to just lay with me now.
I am my own ally.
I have sought help from which I call my last hope.
My Soul.
Yet an untarnished spirit.
I still remain pure & whole, only within my soul.
How do I maneuver such a light, without enticing the mind to come forth and ruin all?
Fear is no longer an enemy, but a comfort.
It sits aside the many unanswered questions that I greedily take small assurance & pleasure,
In knowing that they're there.

I've come so far, yet made no progress.
How is it that I am still living?
Living isn't what I would call this torture (of a life).
I've lost all count of days.
Time here is endless.
All I know is it is eternal night.
The darkness seems to swallow all (that was me.)
I am fighting a war
A single fought battle, yet undiscovered.
I am powerless to my own self.
At the mercy of my mind.
Not quite ready to give into the oh, so tempting defeat.
Only weapon is unusable.
Attempts at success are quickly squashed with the constant presence of my mind.
How do I still own something, but particularly not even have?