“I am going green,” my friend said. I didn’t understand the tenor of his voice and he did not look sick at all. I also knew for a fact that the man was in a steady relationship, and the girl was absolutely devoted to him, he also was pretty content with his worldly belongings, so green with jealousy was also out of the question.

“You look fine to me,” I remarked.

“Of course, I am fine. I am going green, as in environment friendly. Today is Earth hour day, dude.”

“Oh! That,” I remarked sheepishly.

I was reminded of another one of my friends who had decided to go green some months back and he was in a tremendous hurry too, didn’t want to wait for the Earth day also to put his resolution into practice. So he invited himself into his carpool, which comprised of my car.

“We can do so much to protect the Environment,” he said as we walked towards the parking lot, “Sharing a car saves so much fuel for oneself, reduces traffic congestion and hence saves fuel for others, reduces emissions plus it makes for an enjoyable ride. It’s just wonderful.”

I kept nodding my head, knowing fully well that there was no point interrupting a man on a mission. He switched on the AC without as much as asking me, “The air is so polluted. I don’t drive with the windows open.” I just smiled. He continued his tirade on the lesser mortals who were not doing enough for saving the earth till we reached the main road.
As usual I took my car to the right side of the road for a right turn up ahead.

“Why are you on the right side?”

“Because I have to take a turn.”

“But why? That way is much longer.”

“Because the traffic is less and the roads are better.”

“Is it? But you waste more fuel and you will know better if you try going my way. Come on, take it straight.”

Reluctantly I switched on the left indicator and amidst blaring horns and, I am sure, cursing people behind me I went to the other side and drove on his way. The lecture on the ills of global warming continued till suddenly he said, “Just stop here.”

“Here? It is a no parking zone,” I replied.

“Doesn’t matter, you can double. I just want to buy some yoghurt,” and before I could open my mouth he was out of the car. So that was the reason this road was better than the other one. He appeared on my side of the car and said, “Give me hundred bucks, I am not carrying cash.” Pretty amused, I gave him the money and was somehow getting the feeling as if I had adopted a new family.

Anyway, when you don’t have to stop anywhere, you will generally find no one behind you. But when you do, that too on a narrow road, you will find a huge bus right up your neck. The bus driver seemed to be in a hurry or derived some sadistic pleasure out of making people blocking the road, anxious. He started honking and that too non stop. Very soon a multitude of horns joined in and the number was increasing every passing second. So much for traffic jams.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the guy came back and we were on our way. I stopped about twenty five meters short of his residence since my house was in another direction. “Hey! Why don’t you drop me there? You can turn around from behind the building,” he said and I complied.

It was on the short drive from this place to my house that I realized that I may just have spent as much fuel in one day as I would have in two otherwise. I also understood why this guy ever thought of doing something for the earth. It was because he felt guilty about not doing enough. You are driving with AC taking a shorter route, without realizing that the route was actually consuming much more fuel and then stopping in the middle of the road creating traffic jams and then not walking even twenty meters. You see he was not following the basic tenets of helping the earth and was working on some hearsay about carpools helping save the earth. By the way I never got that hundred back.

Anyway coming back to my friend, the latest victim of going green, he had more ideas.

“So you are going to take part in Earth hour?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” I said, “I switch off my fans and lights when they are not required, why do I have to do this today.”

“To show solidarity, the whole earth doing it together, darkness all over.”

“The Aliens will get scared, seeing, all of a sudden, complete darkness on earth.”

“Imagine how much power and fuel will be saved if all of us switch off lights and fans for one hour.”

“Probably the generating units will burn because of over speeding and then you won’t have any power at all.”

“Even Chief Ministers of some states have endorsed Earth hour,” he attempted validating his point.

“Why? Haven’t they heard of Planned Load shedding?”

“You are such a skeptic,” he said and walked away with a humph.

I went back home and announced to my wife, “Today is Earth hour.”

“Tell me about it,” she said. Apparently she had just come back from the same ‘going green’ friend’s house after meeting his wife. It seems in preparation of the earth hour, my friend’s family had charged about five emergency lights and kept the AC on through the day, ‘to keep the walls cool’ as my wife reported.

“They are the same people who use Styrofoam containers to avoid plastic use.”

“Do they know that Styrofoam takes a million years to decompose,” I asked.

“They are not going to last that long. Are they? Anyway they are just showing solidarity with the trend of the day,” my wife said as she went about making a scratch pad out of used paper.

Post Script: Global warming is a reality. But, just taking part in annual global events and other gimmicks which only lend lip service or are just asking for display of solidarity is not enough. You have to do your bit on a daily basis. The links below give some tips on what you can do to be of service to Mother Earth:

http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/4990/gglist.html

http://www.thedailygreen.com/going-green/