Fear of Flying? It Can Be Overcome.

If fear of flying gets your stomach in a knot just gazing at planes in the sky and pictures of places such as the Taj Mahal, Roman Coliseum, and the Amazon are constant reminders of what you're missing, I want to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way. It's actually possible to sit in an airport terminal sipping coffee, watching planes take off, and be happily anticipating your own flight.

I'd like to impart some of the things I've learned that helped me go from a true white-knuckled flier to one who sleeps the night before, enjoys planning a trip, and sits in the terminal calmly reading a magazine. And when I say I truly feared flying, I'm not kidding. I can't count how many Xanax's I've swallowed to make me oblivious to the world around me. Or the sleepless nights I spent before a flight running tragic scenarios through my mind. I remember once having to be pushed up the boarding stairs to the plane.

Flying for me equaled death. The equation was simple: board and plane and die. Wings would fall off, turbulence would shake the skin off the fuselage, engines would break loose, the power would fail, lightening would sever the tail, or the weight would be too much for the engines and we'd never get more than three feet off the ground. I never did worry about the pilots, although I figured what could they do with a plane that was self-destructing.

I mention my own fears so much because I want other fearful fliers to realize it doesn't have to be that way. I, of course, can tell you what I found out and what worked for me, but in the end it's up to you. The point is it's not impossible.

My salvation came about years ago through a USAir Fearful Flyers Program. Unfortunately it no longer exists but other airlines have programs and the Internet lists many classes. I like the airline course because not only did we learn about planes and the science of flying, weather, etc., but we had two aborted takeoffs and a final flight where we actually got to stand in the cockpit (can't see that happening now). Each step slowly made flying a normal experience instead of terror-filled thoughts.

I'm going to go into areas fearful fliers worry about, but there are two things I learned that are paramount to success- thought-stopping and relaxation techniques.

Stop Those Bad Thoughts

Simple statistics will tell anyone that flying is safe; if one plane a day went down the odds would still be greatly in your favor. But that's logical and for fearful fliers it's not logic that counts, it's emotions. All the facts in the world, while important, can't override those pesky thoughts. Stop them and you're a long way toward success.

So, the first thing you need to do is put the brakes on those bad thoughts. Or, more exactly, stop them from escalating. If you're about to take a flight symptoms of fear will begin, paramount being visions of awful things happening. You should be thinking of that wonderful beach in Aruba or the Pyramids you'll be seeing, but slowly these are pushed aside by thoughts of everything imaginable that could go wrong with the flight. You must stop them. How long can you keep them away? At first, probably about five seconds. You may spend the first hour simply putting out those annoying eruptions of negativity. But it will get better.

One method we learned was to place a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you get a bad thought say "Stop" to yourself and snap the band to jolt you to thinking about something pleasant. You might have another way like grinding a nail into your palm. Whatever works for you. Just stop the bad thoughts from takingover and let the good thoughts grow.

Learn to Relax

Along with stopping unpleasant thoughts, you must relax. Tenseness brings on physical changes, the "fight or flight" response. They leave you exhausted, tired, more anxious. You need to replace tenseness with relaxation. Buy a relaxation tape and learn it so that whenever you have a panicky feeling before or during a flight you can induce a relaxed state. Just as in thought-stopping, use relaxation to short-circuit growing anxiety.

These two stategies are ongoing. At first you'll need them quite a bit, but in time that will dimnish. But I"m sure you don't feel that's enough and would like some concrete information about flying to resort to especially during those early weeks of overcoming your fear of flying. For me there were three big areas of concern; structural issues, engine failure, and turbulence.

A Plane is a Sound Machine

Basically, I used to worry that the plane simply wasn't up to what was expected of it. It's big, heavy, and has all kinds of moving parts that could fail. Well, things can fail, but a plane has so many redundant systems it's almost impossible for any failure to be catastrophic. Airplanes are one of the safest machines around. Here you simply have to accept the statistics. Crashes don't happen that often and even less often because of structural failure.

A plane isn't flimsy. A big worry concerns the wings falling off. Forget all those models you built as a kid with the wings glued to the edge of the fuselage. Airplane wings are part of the fuselage. They aren't going to snap off at the slightest bounce or anything else a plane will encounter. And they can flex, on some planes up to 29 feet up and down. During the course we had to press on the fuselage. Feeling how substantial it was proved oddly comforting. It's not a tin can.

Don't Worry About the Engines

Jet engines are remarkably efficient and reliable. They have all the power and more needed for takeoff. Engine failures are a rare occurrence. And if an engine should fail at takeoff there's enough power in the other engine or engines to get airborne. Even total enigne failure while flying needn't be disastrous. At 35,000 feet a plane can glide about 70 miles. Yes, glide. That means you have over 15,000 square miles of land on which to find an airport.

Turbulence is Only Annoying

Once airborne, probably the biggest source of panic is turbulence. Those bumps and shakes can be unnerving until you realize how minor they generally are. They aren't going to shake the plane apart. Even violent weather won't. Think of it in terms of a boat bouncing over waves. You hit the waves hard but the boat doesn't come apart. A plane flys in an ocean of air that has its own waves.

Once again, of course, in a plane it's those darn wings you worry about. We'll they can handle anything you're gong to experience in terms of turbulence. And the pilot has no problem with the plane's movement. He or she isn't in the cockpit in a life and death struggle with the steering wheel. The plane's probably on autopilot.

I tried a little experiment once. I drew a line in my coffee cup right at the top of the coffee. The next time we had turbulence that I usually worried about, I looked at the coffee. The coffee barely moved over the line. Yet the plane's movment seemed faily substantial. Turbulence, however, is one of the harder things to get over so don't worry if it takes a few flights. But it will happen.

Other Things to Help Those of you With a Fear of Flying:

1. Lightening won't bring down a plane. Planes aren't grounded so don't attract lightening. A lightening strike, in any event, would leave only a small scar on the plane's surface. And it it won't ignite the fuel.
2. Planes don't plummet when they hit a so-called air pocket. Air pockets are really part of the normal waves of air and the plane settles very little.
3. Remember, a plane wants to be in the air. That's its environment where it works best.
4. Planes are constantly inspected and at certain intervals completely overhauled becoming almost a new plane. Your plane really isn't the same one that was originally built.
5. A plane wants to fly level.
6. Pilots practice overcoming all those problems you think about.
7. Pilots avoid extreme turbulence. They want you to have as smooth a flight as possible. Anyway, the plane will safely go through extreme turbulence.
8. The rare engine fire can be extinguished by a variety of means.
9. Catastrophic loss of pressure in the cabin lasts barely a second. Forget the movies where people spend five minutes fighting to avoid being sucked out a hole. And planes are built to withstand a 20 foot or bigger hole and keep flying.
10. Planes aren't straining when they take off.
11. Get rid of the thought in you head that while flying is safe accidents do happen. This is one thought you want to stop. I'll bet you don't have that thought about any other aspect of your life.
12. Fly more not less to help you overcome your fear of flying.

Use what I've gone over, join a course, especially one through an airline, and fly to that special place you've always wanted to visit. When you return those memories are so sweet.

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