Finding A Celebrity

[Mother Gilfish] Today I decided to take the transit bus down to the mall, because Father Gilfish said that my hero, Richard, was giving out autographs, at 2:00 pm.

Consequently, I waited at the freezing bus stop for thirteen minutes, and then the bus appeared. It stopped for me, and I gave the bus driver 201 cents; I told him he could keep the extra penny for being so courteous. I sat beside a hoodlum, and tried to converse with him. However, he had his earphones flaring so he could not hear me very well. Therefore, I shared a bench with a young lady who was gossiping on her cellular telephone. I tried getting her attention but she evidently had attitude problems. In fact, she was so annoyed by me that she departed the bus. So, I went to the back and sat next to a professional garbage man. We chatted about how breathtaking a career in train engineering would be, until I finally reached my destination. I bid him good-bye, and exited the bus.

As I walked through the cold wind-chill, I was surprised at how few automobiles were in the parking lot. Didn’t any Manitobans know about the exercise guru? Nevertheless I entered the mall and searched for Richard. He was difficult to navigate, so I asked a young man working at Sears if he knew anything about the celebrity’s where-abouts. He claimed he didn’t know anything, and it was now 2:03 pm, so I continued jogging through the mall until I saw Father Gilfish and Hawgwilde, in the food court. They all laughed hysterically once they saw me looking around. I asked them if they knew where Richard was and they cackled and guffawed even more. What was so amusing, I wondered. Then, Unileg bellowed, “he’s not at this mall, you went to the wrong one!”