Finding Inner Peace Through Acceptance

God,
Grant me the
Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
and the Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
by Reinhold Neibuhr

It goes without saying that life has it’s ups and downs (of course I‘m going to say it anyway). When things are at their best, we enjoy them, going along our merry way not really thinking about why things are so good. When the bad times come along…that is another story altogether. We ask the open air “why me” as we try to figure out just what is was that we did to “deserve” this calamity. We do whatever we can to reduce the damage or back paddle hoping to avert the inevitable - in other words, we try to control the situation; when it turns out that we cannot change the outcome…more frustration and anger.

Sometimes, even in the most negative of circumstances, there is a positive side. In order to see this, we must first give up our need to control the situation. If we could just say to ourselves, “it is as it is, and I cannot change or control it” we relinquish control and responsibility, handing it over to the God and the universe. This not only helps to alleviate the guilt, but relieves the inevitable frustration that comes with attempting to control things that we cannot. It frees up our attention enabling us to concentrate on those things that we can change and whatever else may need our focus. Relinquishing responsibility doesn’t mean pointing fingers at others either, (remember, when you point your finger, three are pointing back at you) it means not doing everything on your own, ask for help.

It can be a difficult thing for some, but in many cases accepting that “the universe is ever in a perfect state” and that what is happening at this moment, is exactly what is supposed to happen, can take a great burden off the mind, heart and soul. It really does make it easier to see the positives that were previously overshadowed. This is not to say that we should go into denial and not deal with our problems or responsibilities, but that sometimes we have to see things objectively instead of subjectively in order to make the most out of a given situation and keep moving forward. It might mean complete removal from said circumstances for a time in order to re-evaluate our place in it. At times just leaving things alone for a while may make it easier to see the solution (if one exists) or will help bring us closer to acceptance.

Although acceptance cannot get rid of all the pain, it helps to alleviate it somewhat. It assists the healing process to begin. All negative events in our lives do pass eventually. They only have a devastating impact on our psyches if we allow it. It comes down to a choice, do we fight to keep control? Or step back, accept the fact that although we can change some things (mostly about ourselves), we are not omnipotent and certain aspects of life are not ours to “fix” the lessons and opportunities are there and will be presented to us when we are ready for them. Will you be ready?

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