The other day my son was telling "Blonde Joke's" Two of my daughter's girls are blonde. The oldest of the two blonde's will be eight in October. She is a fiesty girl at times.

Hearing the blonde jokes that his dad was telling him and the other kids,My 9 year old grandson looked at his cousin and said. "That sounds like you Zee". She got a ferocious look on her face, glared at
him and said defiantly, "I am not blonde, I just have blonde hair". Making the point of the blonde jokes, we none of us could help laughing.

One day when my children were all small I gave them some raisen bran for breakfast and while they ate I
did some household chores. When they finished they went outside to play and I cleaned up the dishes. While washing up I realized it had become too quiet. So I went to check on them. As I started to go around back of the house. I heard my oldest son say, "Sh! We want to surprise mom, we are going to plant all our raisens we saved, and they will grow raisen tree's". I slipped back in the house so as not to disappoint them and called my husband at work. That night while the kids were taking baths he saw where they had with big hope planted their raisens and put in some ground cherry seeds. They were so excited when those plants came up to show me their "raisen trees"

My son Ray was about four and he had been around his uncles listening to some strong swear words. So he began to pick up on them. My mom told him "Ray, I don't want you to say "Dammit again, do you understand me? Yes ma'am he said. If you do she told him I am going to wash your mouth out with soap. The next day he came back and took out of his pocket a small bar of soap he had snuck out of our bathroom. She asked him, What's that for? He looked her straight in the eye and said, "In case I say Dammit again".

Another time one my dad had hung a rabbit pelt on the wall and when we came to visit. My three year old son, Dan put his hands on his hips and stood, glaring at it. Finally my mom asked. What is the matter with you Dan? He then turned and looked at everyone in the room, glaring and demanded "Who smashed the cat"?

Some embarrasing moments:
I had gone back into see the doctor for my six week check up after having my third child another son. My mom came with me and stayed out in the waiting room with my two oldest sons.
The doctors office was small and the walls not very thick. You could often hear parts of conversation if someone spoke loudly enough. After examining my six week old baby I took him out to my mom and returned back to the exam room for my own check up. My 5 year old son began to question my mom as to why I went back in the room again. My mom told him quietly to hush and it was none of his buisness. Not leaving it alone he again asked why I went in and had not yet come out. He had got a little louder. Drawing attention to my mom and himself. My mom again told him to "sit down, look at a book and be quiet". Just as my doctor came in to the exam room to check on me. We could hear my son's loud pitched voice very clearly ask. "Did she go in there to get PREGNANT AGAIN"? And the instant roar of laughter by all the waiting patients that followed.

My four year old daughter was watching her dad fix an old tube radio, replacing tubes, this was back in 1980. She asked him what he was doing. He said I am fixing this radio putting tubes in it. She had also known we had a transistor radio he had fixed and so she thought for a moment and said. So, Tubes are like boobs and that radio is a girl. And transistors are like testicles and the other radio is a boy. My husband could roared with laughter.

Counting the tare's
My 6 year old granddaughter had quite a lisp when she lost her front baby teeth and could not say her S's. One day at church she was standing on the middle stairwell. Counting the stairs that went up one way and down the other way. Our pastor seeing her standing there and heard her counting asked her what she was doing. She looked at him and said, "Counting the Tare's at our church of course". He could not help but laugh at what she said and told her that there were probably quite a few "tare's at church". She said "Yup, there sure are"!

Got Gum
My now 10 year old granddaughter at the age of three found out about chewing gum and that she liked it. When ever she thought you had gum she would ask "do you got gum"? I want some. Of course she did not always get gum when she wanted it. One day while waiting in a hospital waiting room because her mom had a kidney stone, we were watching her. A teenage boy came in chewing gum. She watched him for about 5 minutes then went up and stood right in front of him. He looked at her and said hi, she said, "You got gum? He had by then focused on a ball game on the t.v in the waiting room. She waited watching him clack his gum and chew it and when he did not reply, she said again, louder. "Do you got gum. Concentrating on the ball game he ignored her.

Before I realized what she was doing, She climbed up in a chair and put her nose right to his and said. " I SAID, Do YOU GOT GUM, I want some NOW!
The poor kid gulped, swallowed his gum and red faced, said "Nope I don't have gum". She said, "Open your mouth and let me see". He complied. She then climbed down. And hands on hips said. " I know you had gum, you swallowed it and your a liar". "Now God is going to make that gum stick your guts togather". Then she stomped off while everyone laughed that was in the waiting room and I took her out for her rude behavior to admonish her.

My son in law and daughter have 4 girls and last spring she explained to her 10 old daughter the process of a woman's body and menses. The seven year old not to be left out wanted to hear it too. So she told them what they needed to know.

Later that week while trying to explain to his 10 year old daughter the difference between an exclamation point and a period. The seven year old piped up and to his horror. Said, "NO dad that is not what a period is at all". "Don't you know, it is when a woman has a menses and that is how you and mom got babies". She proceeded to explain to him in perfect word for word detail the reproduction process of the woman's body. With that my son in law threw his hands in the air and said, "I am surrounded by 5 females, I give up".