Who is the new modern woman‚? How do you get her attention and what do you do once you get it?

She is, in the simplest terms, anything she wants to be. Every door is open to her, if she is willing to cross the threshold. Women will struggle for a long time to come with exactly how to be strong, independent, and feminine. No subscription to Cosmo is ever going to answer that, and I will not pretend to either. I will, however, offer some advice to the men who want the attention of these women.

Understand that, now more than ever, as gender lines are blurring more and more, what women really want is a companion. We do not want a man to replace our friends, or even to be a Œsoul mate‚. We do not need to be taken care of financially and greatly value our independence. But, the special affairs between man and woman are irresistible whether for casual sex or meaningful romance.

Fellas, before you make your next move, here are a few things to consider:

1. Every woman wants an interesting man, but she does not want to come home every night to a complete enigma. We appreciate honesty, so stop trying to figure out a gentle way to say whatever it is and just come out with it. I’m not going to suggest complete honestly because we‚ve all tried that before and know that it just doesn‚t work, but we are not as fragile as you might think.

2. No games. None. We are no longer in Study Hall.

3. We live in a product-driven, gimmicky world, but no amount of products or gimmicks will keep our attention once you get it. Be genuine. There are certainly women out there that will respond only to jewelry, cars, and flowers. These are the same women that will undoubtedly expect a virtual circus for Valentine‚s Day and her birthday. Ask yourself a crucial question right now: Is this the woman that you really want to be with?If so, stop reading now and pick up Cosmopolitan.

4. Once in a relationship, Do not go to her friends to discuss the relationship or ask any questions. If they are good friends, loyalty is to her and you will not get reliable answers. They will also tell her that you‚re looking for information. It is sneaky and we don‚t like that. Go directly to the source. Try to deal with the issue privately before going public. This obviously excludes any circumstance where she may be in danger or you may be buying a certain ring.

5. Getting the attention of women in general and one woman in particular are two very different endeavors. In either case, follow the cliché and be yourself. Anything less will become a source of frustration for both of you later on. If you are just interesting in the general dating world, simply be 100% your own person. On the other hand, if one lucky girl has your attention, remain your own person, but also try to get a handle on what makes her tick. Showing her that level of awareness may be all that's needed to make her notice you in a different way.

6. We will talk. We know that you will too. You (and Œus‚) will be discussed with our friends in ŒSex and the City‚-type conversations. Yes, we talk about sex, in detail. Get used to the idea. No woman will ever believe that you don‚t talk about all of it with your friends. We accepted it a long time ago.

7. We know that you look at other girls and are attracted to them. We look at other guys. In fact, we look at other girls. We are well aware of what‚s out there. Please, try not to take notice of other women while you are with us. (I shouldn‚t have to make that point, but in my experience it happens far too often.) If you‚ve been caught looking, don‚t lie about it because the lying is far more hurtful.

8. Always be clean and smell good. I should not have to mention this either, but apparently I do. This is not to say that we all want metrosexuals because we definitely do not. Just take care of yourself. We put forth a lot of effort most of the time and we‚re just asking for a small fraction of that effort.

9. Do not make any comparisons between us and the ghosts of relationships past. It will do nothing but bring up old feelings and create new resentments. Every man, woman, and relationship is different. Remember that and you will be safe.

10. Do not try to Œsolve our problems‚. If we take a chance to actually talk to you about something, please, please, please do not take it as a request for help. It makes us feel like you‚re not listening. Unless we expressly say that we need something, do not try to find solutions. We just want to get whatever it is out of our systems and you happen to be sitting in front of us.

There is no golden ticket to figuring out women. If you want what I call a "Cosmo Girl"..then read Cosmo for their advice. A fair warning: In my experience, the women that treat those magazines as bibles are the same women that will critique your relationship straight through to its demise.Even the most cynical person has a fundamental need to feel that they are not alone in the world and if that can be combined with great sex (a whole separate article), then it‚s all the better! If you maintain confidence in your own identity, you will undoubtedly find a woman who is strong in her own right and will be a comfort and companion in the world.