Some families welcome you with open arms and treat you as a member of the family, while others make you seem like you just can't win to get to their approval or acceptance.

In these cases building a good relationship with your in laws is going to take time. A good thing to remember is that it might not be you that they are against, it may just be the idea that their child is married and out on their own .

Many times in laws want what they feel is best for their child and are not considering that their son or daughter is capable of making a decision of their own.

Be yourself. If not, even though it might take a while they're going to see through any facade or game you're playing.

Do not lie to them .

Do not belittle your spouse in front of them.

Treat them with the same respect you would treat your parents.

Communicate with them and if possible visit them on a regular basis. This gives them time to see your spouse as well as allowing them to get to know you more.

It may be a good idea for you and your spouse to sit and have a talk with your in laws . This way you can both get to know more about each other and you can discuss some crucial issues that you and your spouse have already agreed upon before this visit.

Refrain from arguing with them

Don't kiss their butts, but be helpful and attentive if possible when they ask

Make an attempt to be cheerful, well groomed, and well mannered in their presence

To take an interest in their likes and hobbies can bring you closer together

Ask what they prefer you to call them. Would they like to be addressed by their first names or would it be all right to call them mom and dad. If they still prefer you to call them Mr. or Mrs. So and so, it is obvious you have a long way to go in developing a good relationship.

Although many of the jokes we hear pertain to mother in laws, sometimes it is the father in law who is going to be the more difficult one to develop a good relationship with.

If your spouse comes from a large family with many siblings, do not be surprised if they compare you to one of them. Just hope it's in a good way.

Remember to at least call them on holidays, special occasions , and birthdays.

Invite them to dinner and prepare or help to prepare one of their favorites

If you can, talk with your in law's spouse privately and ask for tips on how you can perhaps get on their good side, if they just aren't budging to accept you.

Share your family photos with them, as well as photos of you as a child.

Refrain from discussing subjects that could start a rift or be in poor taste.

Respect their belongings and the basic laws of their household.

Even though you feel welcome in their household, ask before helping yourself to food or taking or borrowing things.

If you run into a situation where they are starting to try to run your life, both you and your spouse have to be firm with them and explain that you feel the decision you made is what is best for the both of you. If the decision you made could cause major consequences, that you were unaware of, at least listen to what they have to say.

To be friendly and loving and caring to them is a good idea, however, even if tempted, do not flirt with them. I know this sounds odd, but strange things have happened.

Most likely your inlaws already know you somewhat before you got married. You probably already have a basic relationship with them. I'm sure if they had any major objections to you they would've said something about it before the wedding. Many of the suggestions might pertain to couples that have been recently engaged, and are just a refresher for newlyweds.