There are many subtle ways to get ready for a big Mexico trip. To start off our preparations we took a trip to that bastion of deals...The 99Cent Store.

Now, one thing a weekend in Mexico requires is a badass pair of sunglasses. Something so gaudy and horrid you'll want to leave them south of the border. Here are some requirements for such a pair of shades:

1. Mirrored lenses are a nice touch.
2. They must be bigger than your face.
3. They can't match anything you own.
4. Shiny metalic accents are key, but hold out for jewel encrusting.
5. Plastic is the way to go.
6. Jewel-tones are classy.
7. Racing stripes make you look like a 70s porn star.
8. The sunglasses leash is a smart choice.
9. Smokey fade tint is ultra hip.
10. You find yourself repeatedly saying, "Good GOD!" when checking yourself out in the mirror.

Quantity before quality. You'll want to snatch up any and all pairs of shades that meet these qualifications. There is no such thing as too many sunglasses. Get enough to sport a different pair every day. You will the the belle of the beach.

Follow these simple guidelines and you will have yourself some bitch-ass sunglasses for your tango with tequilla in old Mexico.