There is one thing that being a writer that you should know.  The very first thing you will need to get used to is being rejected.  Yes, I know, everyone says your writing is fantastic and your family and friends are all sayhing how talented you are.  However, nothing anyone says, even if you have an agent, is going to prepare you for the cold, cool and calculated rejection that you will receive at the hands of publishers.

The thing is, it's never easy.  You never really get used to it.  As I write this, I have a big envelope sitting on my dining room table from the BBC.  I sent them a proposal package to turn one of my books into a TV series because I think the BBC is putting out some of the best TV you can find.  They don't interefere with writers and creators as much over there as they do here in the US and who they allow to submit proposals is easier there than in the US.  However, the big envelope likely has a rejection letter and it just cannot bring myself to open it up.

The thing is you have to remember that the publisher, no matter what the size, is a business.  Yes, you may think you are working for yourself but every writer still has bosses.  There are the people who work at the publishers and there is your agent.  There are editors and other people who all have some say or function in your work.  This is also true if you are submitting short stories to magazines.  You still have someone to please and if you don't please them, your work is not going to be seen.

There are ways around it these days, of course.  Some people start blogs and then attempt to publish their work there.  That's fine, of course, but it isn't likely to bring you the success you think.  For every success story you run across from someone who did that, there are a million more that got no results.

You do start to develop some calluses.  You being to know what a rejection letter looks like.  Since you have to submit your proposals and your manuscript via mail, still, in this day and age, to some of the bigger publishing houses, you also have to submit the Self Addressed Stamped Envelope.  So, you get used to coming home and seeing envelopes addressed to yourself in your own handwriting.  Once you see that, you know the answer is "no." 

No good news comes via the mail.  If a publisher is really super-excited to publish your work they will call you.  They are going to want to give you the word right away, to prevent you from sending the work out to other publishers.  When they call you, then they will tell you what they are mailing to you, which is likely going to be a contract.  They don't send you the contract first and then call you.  So, if you have an envelope, more than likely it isn't good news.

All I can say is, get used to it.  Every overnight success in the literary world normally has a long story that shows years and years of rejection.  It's part of paying your dues and it never really gets easier or smoother to handle.  It is just something you have to try and get comfortable with.