Have you been one of many children in your family? Have you felt less loved, less cared for compared to your other brother(s) and sister(s)? I felt that way for much of my life. I was the elder child of my family and I always felt I was the less loved one. I felt all the attention and love went to my younger brother. I genuinely felt more demands were made of me, there were more expectations from me - just because I happened to be the elder one.

On the other hand, when it came to conflicts, it was I who always took the spanking and verbal barrage from my parents. The younger one could do no wrong - he was always the innocent one in their eyes and could of course do no wrong. All of these feelings resulted in my holding a grudge against my parents. I did gradually grow out of that feeling of being discriminated against, but in some way, my parents didn't succeed in raising us fairly. Of course, they didn't do so on purpose, but its just that they didn't know better.

So, what can one do in being fair, just, equitable parents from their children's perspective? I'd say, for a start, do not compare your one kid to another. What purpose can that achieve - other than make the kid being compared adversely against, feel inadequate and inferior?

Another thing to avoid is to blame one of your kids at random, without knowing the full facts. If your kids have been involved in a fight with each other and you come in and catch them, don't come to conclusions based on your previous experiences with them. Don't assume who's to blame for the fight. If you don't know, don't accuse. Kids especially are very sensitive and take wrong accusations badly.

Never point out deficiencies of your kids to strangers or other people outside your family, especially in their presence or even otherwise, or praise one of your kid and not the other one. It decreases their self-esteem. If they do have deficiencies, try and address them with the child personally - what purpose would be served by discussing them with people who can't possibly help that situation. You might have brought that up as a talking point, but think about the effect it could have on your kid.

Life as a parent can be difficult. You try and do everything for your children, but feelings of discrimination sometimes crop up in your child's mind. You might not even know it, for children rarely discuss such feelings with parents. They carry on with this perception (real or imagined). However, if the parent is aware of this potential problem, he/she can take effective steps and deal with their childen in a just and fair manner.