Our relationship lasted a total of 4 years. When times were good, I would like and say it lasted five. I must’ve been about 20 when I met him. This too, I would lie about, making him feel special, thinking I was 19, because he was a little over 4 years my senior and I knew his friends would all think him the man.

He was maturing into adulthood, I had just started what I realize now were my formative years.

When the relationship was good, it was one of those things that inspire romantic novels and epic tales of symbolism and love, it was a run through a flower field, a delicious dessert of chocolate and cream, the warm feeling from a memory of a really good Christmas. I was young, so it is needless to say that I was under the impression that I knew way more than I actually did, that I was hopeful, romantic, and naïve.

Regardless, one thing was for freakin sure: I had never felt better. IN my short little life, I had no love to compare this one too, because non had ever been so encompassing, none had ever been so strong.

So here I am, 20 years old, at the literal threshold of my life, a thousand opportunities waiting. I was a straight A student, with a GPA above a 5.0. I graduated at the top of my class, I spoke 4 languages, I had half of my associates degree under my belt already. But with a love filled heart, your true objective always becomes a little cloudy, your long term desires fall in background of ideas of a life rife with the kind of love that you only see in movies, on televisions, and in the romantic cheese section of your library: I was hooked.

This man, to me, was a man who blew my mind with every word he spoke, a man who had view and opinions on politics, on econony, on music, on life, on people unlike any I had ever seen, or been a part of. He appreciated the value of education and information, and argued well. He was not only smart but also intellegent, a man who was not only fun, but entertaining, a man who is not only good looking, but beautiful.

Beat part about all this, is that memory alone doesn’t have to serve me. I documented every delicious moment of my time in heaven, or so thought that was what I was accomplishing at the time.

I realize now, that what I did instead was allow myself a precious and incredibly useful look into the inner workings of my mind, into how it is that I process facts, information, and emotions. I could read myself falling in love.

Most importantly though, I could see the formation of the things that would eventually drive us apart. I could see them from the very beginning, when I was, back then, too blinded by love to appreciate them. I could see now, that I should’ve known this was going to explosive from the start. I call this seletive perception, the effect that the heart has on the brain when emotion is involved. It's quite possibly, the single largest set back to being an emotional human. Its the biggest problem that comes along with falling in love.

[Next section: Overlooking the Negative: Learning to avoid selective perception]