When we arrived, the small yard was overrun with a hodge podge collection of potted succulents, tropical ferns and cacti. The kind of garden I've always hated.
But, I knew right away, despite the weeds and weird pointy, spike-covered plants that the area had great prospects. I dreamnt up various garden ideas, and spent nearly three weeks pilfering through webpages and online plant catalouges (Which I will share with you. Be Patient.). I ooed and ahhed over hundreds of different colour themed gardens, and finally came to the conclusion: I would have a Gothic Garden. I had a pretty spooky interior to my house what with a dining room library of various breeds of tarantulas and the occasional black wall, I felt I had the authority to spread the spookiness out the front door, and down into the dirt.
But, I knew right away, despite the weeds and weird pointy, spike-covered plants that the area had great prospects. I dreamnt up various garden ideas, and spent nearly three weeks pilfering through webpages and online plant catalouges (Which I will share with you. Be Patient.). I ooed and ahhed over hundreds of different colour themed gardens, and finally came to the conclusion: I would have a Gothic Garden. I had a pretty spooky interior to my house what with a dining room library of various breeds of tarantulas and the occasional black wall, I felt I had the authority to spread the spookiness out the front door, and down into the dirt.
It took me another 2 weeks of longingly searching the internet for black plants. I joined a Yahoo! Community for Gothic Gardeners and a fancy group called the Black Plant Society. I even started out shopping carts on various "chocolate flower" websites, yet never went so far as to bidding on any of the overpriced internet finds.
But, what was the point? The soil outside was awful! It was wrought with weeds and thick as clay. As well, all of these plants seemed frustratingly small and far too expensive to start up an entire garden. I became distressed and had a tendency to sit at the computer, and stare longingly out the window. (Very Gothic, huh?)
And then, miraculously, one day it happened.
I simply walked outside and picked up a shovel.
I began at 9 am on a cool Florida March morning.
I simply walked outside and picked up a shovel.
I began at 9 am on a cool Florida March morning.
It was perfect weather. 
I started to dig.
Since all of this began I've come to the self-pleasing realization that: if anybody ever marched me into the woods with a gun to my back, I'd be able to dig my own grave before they shot me, and buried me in it (Eerie).
I felt truly justified in the Gothic aspects of it. Thus Far.
And still I dug.
I made three massive mounds of slick, clumpy black clay and spread them out in various areas of the driveway.
I spent a literal 10 hours scooping mud around the yard and accomplished only one thing:
I spent a literal 10 hours scooping mud around the yard and accomplished only one thing:
I fought and won, uprooting this obnoxious tropical, droopy pointed-leaf thing (Which I have yet to identify).
It's roots went over 4 feet into the ground, and spread over 4 feet wide. It was awful. I dug a hole so deep, and wet and cavernous that I found no other excuse but to make it Ophelias tiny lake in my Goth Garden.
Score One for me.
Then I called it a day.
The following day and nite (and following day) poured. Florida rain storms that went on heavy and heady for an eternity. As I looked out the window, I realized the entire yard ran forward and pooled into my dirt beds.
The whole yard ran black with mud.
It was a befittingly gloomy scene, but it only pissed me off.
I gave it a day to dry, and then I jumped back out there.
The entire front yard is paved with the exception of several L and box shaped plots of earth placed strategically around the driveway and front step. The largest of the L shapes runs along the side fence and then horizontally across the front yard to the gate.
We bought bales of pine needles from a local store and stacked them into a large square. We re-used these old 2x4's from behind our gargage and sawed them into stakes. My boyfriend pinned the entire thing together, and we tied it with rope. He calls it our Blair Witch Compost heap. I scooped a bunch of coffee grounds into it, and orange rinds, then I punched out fist sized holes in the bales, filling them with potting soil and small annual plants.
I then lay cardboard boxes down in the dirt beds.
I read on one of my favorite frugal gardening blogs that you could use cardboard instead of that overpriced black tarp that people lay down as weed blockers. It kills everything beneath the cardboard, and allows you a fresh start on top. My ghetto "raised bed". Free!
I just asked the girl working in the plant nursery if they had any boxes laying around to be dumped, and she gave me a stack.
I opened them up and laid them across the ground. They fit pretty perfectly in the concrete cut-out gardens.
Then I took the most expensive, valuable source in my gardening career: GARDEN SOIL, and I covered the ground. I mixed in a bag of Black Gold Cow Manure and some Organic Worm Castings. (Did I mention I was trying to go completely organic with this?)
Because I live in Florida, dirt will forever be my big problem.
It's very wet. It's very clumpy. I will always need to buy or create my own topsoil. (Hence the compost-thing) I reccomend that anyone wanting to work with a large amount of space, rent a tiller and dig up the earth. You can get a tiller at a local nursery, and sometimes stores like Lowes and Home Depot will rent them out as well. You can turn up the dirt and smother it in some sort of farm animal manure, and kitchen waste and let it hang for a few weeks to really reach its potential. Then, you don't have to drop a hundred dollars to simply keep your little black babes alive.
My Goth Garden is a work in process. I have three homemade greenhouses going with various black flowering seedlings making their way out of the potted ground. I have planted a few Black Scallops and
Sambucus 'Black Beauty' plants in the garden for black foliage sake (And, they are the only dark plants readily available at local nurseries)
Also, I ran around the house collecting old things and put them out in the yard. We've got an unused, ugly black wrought iron birdcage hanging over the garden. There are several large and odd shaped, partially broken mirror pieces that I used to create a low fence to line the back wall of the garden. I even have a chipped, dirty concrete bird fountain that I pulled out of my mothers backyard.
My favorite part in all of this has been the gathering of cinder blocks only to throw them over my head and allow them to shatter on the driveway. I'm using their sharp, blocky chunks to create a border around the flower beds, and a very nice wall around Ophelias pond.
As time passes (and maybe if I ever get that digital camera I've been wishlisting for so long) I will add photos and show you my process.
And truly, if I ever get any extra spending money I will patronize all of these wonderful black flower websites.
Links to Black Plant Dealers:
Chocolate Flower Farms (So Awesome!)
Links to Black Plant Communities:
Too-Long list of Black Plants:
Annuals (Amaranthus cruentus x A. powellii) 'Hopi Red Dye' amaranth (Centaurea cyanus) 'Black Gem' cornflower (Nemophila menziesii) 'Pennie Black' baby blue-eyes (Papaver somniferum) Black peony poppy (Perilla frutescens 'Atropurpurea') Beefsteak plant (Scabiosa atropurpurea) 'Ace of Spades' and 'Chile Black' pincushion flower (Strobilanthes dyerianus) Persian shield (Viola tricolor) 'Bowles Black' Johnny-jump-up
Perennials (Aquilegia vulgaris) 'William Guiness' columbine (Ajuga reptans) 'Mahogany' bugleweed (Alcea rosea) 'Nigra' and 'The Watchman' hollyhock (Cosmos atrosanguineus) Chocolate cosmos (Delphinium) 'Black Knight' delphinium (Dracunculus vulgaris) Voodoo lily or dragon arum (Geranium maculatum) 'Espresso' cranesbill (Geranium pratense) 'Midnight Reiter' cranesbill (Geranium phaeum) 'Samobor' cranesbill (Helleborus x hybridus) Hybrid hellebores (Hemerocallis) 'Black Prince' daylily (Iris) 'Black Swan', 'Old Black Magic', 'Ruby Chimes', 'Superstition' (Salvia discolor) Sage (Veratrum nigrum) Black hellebore (Viola cornuta) 'Black Magic' sweet violet (V. tricolor) 'Bowles Black' and 'Molly Sanderson' Johnny-jump-up Foliage (Aeonium arboreum) 'Zwartkop' black-leaved aeonium (Alternanthera) 'Gail's Choice' alternanthera (Cordyline spp.) Cabbage palm (Dracunculus vulgaris) Voodoo lily or dragon arum (Eupatorium rugosum) 'Chocolate' hemp agrimony (Euphorbia amygdaloides) 'Purpurea' wood spurge (Heuchera) 'Chocolate Veil', 'Obsidian' and 'Plum Pudding' coral bells (x Heucherella) 'Burnished Bronze' heucherella (Ligularia dentate) 'Britt-Marie and 'Crawford' black groundsel (Ophiopogon planiscapus) 'Nigrescens' black mondo grass (Oxalis regnellii var. triangularis) Purple-leaved shamrock (Pelargonium spp.) Geranium (Pennisetum setaceum 'Purpureum') Purple fountain grass (Phormium cookium) 'Platt's Black' mountain flax (Sedum)' x Bertram Anderson', 'Purple Emperor', and 'Vera Jameson' (Solenostemon ) 'Inky Fingers' coleus (Tradescantia pallida) 'Purple Heart' spiderwort Bulbs (Canna) 'Black Knight' and 'Red Wine' canna (Colocasia esculenta) 'Black Magic' and 'Jet Black Wonder' taro (Dahlia) 'Bishop of Llandaff' and 'Fascination' dahlia (Fritillaria persica) Purple fritillary (Tulipa) 'Black Parrot' and 'Queen of Night' tulips (Zantedeschia) 'Black Pearl' and 'Midnight Eclipse' calla lily
Trees, shrubs, and vines (Buddleja davidii) 'Black Knight' butterfly bush (Cercis Canadensis) 'Forest Pansy' Eastern redbud (Clematis) 'Romantika' clematis (Corylus maxima 'Purpurea' purple giant filbert (Cotinus coggygria) 'Royal Purple' smoke bush (Fagus sylvatica purpurea) Purple or copper beech (Hibiscus acetosella) 'Coppertone' red-leaved hibiscus (Ipomoea batatas) 'Blackie' sweet potato vine (Paeonia spp.) Peonies (Phyllostachys nigra) Black bamboo (Physocarpus opulifolius) 'Diabolo' ninebark (Rosa) 'Nuits de Young' Moss rose (Salix gracilistyla) 'Melanostachys' black pussy willow (Sambucus nigra) 'Black Beauty' and 'Black Lace' black elder (Weigela) 'Wine and Roses' weigela
Vegetables and fruits (Brassica oleraceae) 'January King' savoy cabbage (B. oleracea) 'Nero di Toscana' ('Black Tuscany') kale (Capsicum anuum) 'Purple Delight' and 'Royal Black' ornamental pepper (Cucurbita moschata) 'Futsu', 'Chirimen', 'Musquee (or Muscat) de Provence, 'Yokohama' winter squashes (Lactuca) 'Lollo Rossa' lettuce (Lycopersicon lycopersicum) 'Black', 'Black Cherry', and 'Black Plum' cherry tomatoes (Osimum basilicum) 'Dark Opal' basil (Raphanus sativus) 'Black Spanish' radish (Ribes nigrum) 'Ben Lomond', 'Ben Sarek', and 'Consort ' black currants (Rubus fruticosus) 'Black Satin', 'Chester', and 'Darrow' blackberries (Solanum melongena var. esculentum) 'Black Beauty' eggplant (Vitis vinifera) 'Purpurea' purple-leaved grape or claret vine
Until then: Godspeed You Black Emperors. Go play in the dirt
For more ramblings by Amber Linskey, visit her blog:
http://johnniecoltrane.blogspot.com
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Great Article
Kristen Malmed
Online Communications Specialist
runner-up
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