6
votes

Senior Year part 3 (preview)

posted June 10, 2008 - 1:54pm
Senior Year part 3 (preview)

Senior Year

Danique steps inside the Doctor’s office. She is always amazed at the difference between the waiting room and his office. His office is a complete mess. Books are littered about, papers lay on his desk in differing states of decomposition, dust covers everything but the bar and the chairs. Dr. ----- is standing by a window and may not know that Danique has entered.

Dr. ------ is an alcoholic with the D.U.I.s to prove it. He used to have one of the best practices and reputations in the field. That all changed when his wife committed suicide. He believed if he hadn’t been so involved with his practice he would have noticed the signs and been able to help her. She was his deepest love. He believes that he actually deserves to die but can’t bring himself to do it. So he kills himself slowly with alcohol.

Danique steps toward the chairs with an obvious air of cautiousness.

“Come in, come in. Sit down Danique.”

Danique is surprised to hear his voice sound cheery. The sound of it actually relaxes her a bit as she sits down.

“Thank you Dr. ------, you seemed to be in a good mood today.”

“Of course I am ….. Is there a reason I shouldn’t be?”

“It’s just that you usually are so…indifferent, even mean. You can be such a pain-in-the-ass sometimes.”

Danique instantly regrets her choice of words but it just slipped out. The Doctor finally turns around and Danique gasps. There is a fury in his eyes she has never in her life encountered, not even from her mother. He is beet red and starting to sweat profusely, he looks like some wicked mythic beast.

“Mean!!!??? What would you know about mean!!! A little bitch like you knows nothing!!!”

Danique quickly cowers in her chair.

“Not a damn thing!”

Something has snapped in the doctor. Now his voice grows so soft that Danique can barely hear him. He casually walks over to his desk.

“You probably blame me for everything, don’t you? As soon as you get out of this office you probably tell everyone what a jackass I am. You are ruining my practice. I knew it. I knew it was you. Yeah…”

He stares at her for a minute before reaching into a desk drawer. Danique cannot see what he is doing but she is terrified. When the doctor steps around the desk, Danique can see he has a gun in his hand. She begins to cry. She can neither take her eyes away from him nor get her legs to run for the door like she knows she should. Danique knows something awful is going to happen to her.

“I‘ve always fantasized about this day.”

He starts walking towards her raising his voice again.

“You’re ruining me!!!!”

Danique is now crying uncontrollably. She can no longer see the menace approaching her.

“No!” she screams.

“No What?!!!!”

The doctor is almost upon her.

“What do you think I am a fool?!!!”

He grabs her by the head just as she turns away, awaiting the shot.

“NNNOOO!!!!!”

The office door flies open. Two police officers run in grabbing Dr. ---- and throwing him to the floor, dust flying everywhere. The gun flies from his hand coming to a stop at Jill’s feet. Jill stands in the open doorway expressionless seemingly unaware of the gun. The Dr.’s eyes never leave Danique through the whole arrest and he never utters word. Danique is still crying uncontrollably. She can not pick her head up to look at the doctor, the officers or Jill. As they lead the doctor away who keeps his eyes firmly planted on Danique, Jill walks over to her with, finally, a look of
sympathy.

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Comments

Part 4 is up

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OK

I changed it - I've rewritten this part so many times that I forget somethings. Thanks!

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Part 3 - wHATUP

Part 3 was suspenseful, the Dr's a bit freaky! I liked the story continuation...I think you can tighten it up a bit such as combining this sentence in to one movement: "He grabs her by the head. She desperately turns her head" Pls don't think that I think I know it all, I don't! It's just an observation. I hope Part 4 tells us why Danique is there... Thanks for the fiction read, +1 from me! Peace, Mia NW Visit my recent posts at: http://www.xomba.com/user/mia_northwest Get paid to be a xombie! Join us here at: http://www.xomba.com/referral/77793fec Thanks!

~Peace, Mia

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